…yes, my title is from that Alicia Keys song about the girl with some kind of rash.
previously: theo burned some shit to the ground and some chick called firefly killed some cop with a flamethrower and all kinds of hell broke loose. butch had his hand chopped off.
Butch is telling Theo what happened and he has his stump to prove it. Welp. Theo is like, ‘Nah, I got two handed thugs who can do what you did’ but Crazy!Barbs and Jessica Lucas are like, ‘Give him a shot Thee-Thee’. Both of those broads are nutty as a Kellogs Honey Nut. In the background, Theo is basically torturing some dude for his support.
Title card at a reasonable point, whoo!
Jim is chasing after some dude, he’s investigating the Firebug police death. Strike Force are like, ‘Jim, you’re violating cop law by roughing this dude up’. Ah, so fresh and innocent. Jim’s just like, ‘REPORT ME IF YOU WANT, YO’. #TeamJim #Badass
Firefly is sweeping the floor and shit, doing her woe-is-me shit because she can’t sleep and she’s broke. Selina is helping her out because the wriers don’t know what to do with her.
Next we’re at some event with pimps, thieves and hoes at it.
Alright, G-town. Alright. Anyway.
Kitten and Firefly show up and rob the place.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. This is embarrassing on so many levels. Neither of them are covering their faces. Kitten’s parting shot is ‘For the record, all of y’all suck!’. Firefly finally knows how to use the flamethrower and she blasts some flames here and there. Really menancing, girl. Not.
Back at GCPD HQ, Jim gets a note on his file for beating that suspect. Well. The Thing ain’t playing! Thing has security camera footage of the robbery and he spots Kitten. Kitten is Selina by the way. Just changing things up.
In the Bat-cave, Lil Bruce is still learning how to fight. He bites Alfred as part of their sparring. Uhm. You know what…let’s just skip past that.
Riddler overs hears Ms Kringle talking about her abusive ex (who Riddler killed). She’s telling Lee that Riddler is TOO GENTLE? Gurl, you don’t want this! Why is she calling him Ed now? Anyway, he makes her coffee with a heart in the foam. Sigh.
Harvey Bullock is stuck interviewing Ivy, has he been downgraded or what? He barely has any screen time!
Firefly and Kitten say their goodbyes but take too long and Fire’s brothers up and kidnap her. Oh dearie me. While Kitten is stocking up on ammo, Jim busts into her little abode. Kitten has balls of steel! She refuses to put her gun down and Jim tries to reason with her. She tells him Firefly’s real identity and lets him now that The Pike Brothers are behind the arsons. She doesn’t tell him who hired them though.
The Pike Bros are nuts but that was a given.
Butch’s stump now has a mallet attached to it. OKAY. Pingu is pissed that Butch doesn’t have any answers. I smell a mutiny!
Uhm. Well Firefly has last her damn mind. She burns her brothers to death. Kitten unleashed a damn monster! Jim and Harvey rock up and see the charred bodies and Harvey hates how he smells like egood barbecue. Harvey then freaks the fuck out when one of them grabs his leg and kicks the shit out of him. Welpppppppppppp. Anyway, the burnt up dude dies.
Butch manages to tune into Momma!Pingu TV but is caught by Theo who has clocked his bullshit. He realises that Pingu has some kind of mind control fuckery over Butch. Theo calls Jessica Lucas to ‘help’. Theo is still talking in the American accent. So, we’re going to ignore the fact that he spent the first few episodes speaking in a British accent? Okay.
Commissioner Thing tells Jim to find Firefly and take her down.
Kitten meets up with Firefly and realises that FF has lost her damn mind. Firefly wants to take on the pervs and bullies and be a vigilante and shit. Kitten tries to reason with her, hell she even gives her a hug. Firefly still has crazy eyes though.
WHAT?? Lil B is at dinner with Theo, Jessica Lucas, Silver/Blondie (?? who dis). Lord have mercy, I can’t with this tweenage love affair shit.
Kringle and Riddler are eating dinner at his house. They have sex. YAY!
Kitten tells Jim where Firefly is going and GCPD show up to get here.
Firefly is all resilient and shit, she says she doesn’t want to go to prison and refuses to put that damn flame thrower down. She’s basically like:
Oh, there’s a minor gas lea but she doesn’t let that bother her and ends up setting HER DAMN SELF ON FIRE!!!!
Theo continues his attempts to butter up Lil B! Lil B is falling for it too. SIGH.
Butch shows up at Pingu Palace and claims that he’s found Mamma!Pingu. Something doesn’t smell right.
Kitten is pointing a gun at Lee in her own apartment. She’s bold! Jim tells her that Firefly won’t survive. Kitten is upset. Jim asks her again who hired The Pikes and she spills that it was Pingu. She also says that she’s done talking to Jim. Welp. Jim’s hair is looking flawless by the way.
I’m waiting for Riddler to fuck this up. There is no way that he won’t. Kringle says she’s scared of her abusive ex. UH-OH. She thinks he might come back. Don’t do it Riddler. Don’t do it. OH SHIT. He just said that ‘it’s been taken care of’. NO, DON’T DO IT
HE TOLD HER THAT HE KILLED HIM!!
HE’S TELLING HER ALL THE DETAILS TOO, HELL.
HE EVEN GETS OUT THE POLICE BADGE TO SHOW HIM (THE EX WAS A COP).
Riddler is all confused when she’s not jumping for joy.
She says that he’s crazy and a psychopath and Riddler is like, ‘Don’t say that!’. She calls him a freak and he’s like, ‘Nah’ and then he starts choking her (accidentally??!)
Bruno, you’re really trying it. Or Ben Edlund. I know it’s one of them, but yeah, Kringle is dead. LOL. That was some dumb shit.
At Palace Pingu, they’re getting their weapons ready.
Riddler is crying over Kringle’s dead boy, and he gets a dramatic ‘Noooooooooooooo!’.
WELL, SHIT, Y’ALL, FIREFLY ISN’T REALLY DEAD! They dump her on some place called Indian Hills, a division of Wayne Enterprises.
The preview for next week looks good, so I expect even more fuckery.