I’m still on season 10, but I hear that season 11 is equally as shit as this season so far.
“What a surprise,” said no one.
There is a musical number accompanied by a recap of shit that I would like to forget. But I suppose they think that we’re supposed to remember all of this?
Anyway, after that Crowley is in some archaic looking building with a bunch of people fake stabbing him. Oh and unfortunately it’s a nightmare. He wakes up to the sight of Rowena…another nightmare in her own right. She withdraws her hex bag after Crowley walks out of the room.
Dean is having some Mark of Disdain flashbacks. Welp. Push out that one single tear, boo.
Castiel and Sam discuss Dean’s descent into full on batshittery but refuse to call him loco. I’ll say it, he’s a crazy ass mofo with some evil juice up in him. KEEEL HEEEEM!
Anyway after Dean does his whole woe-is-me routine, Castiel reveals that there may be another way to get rid of the mark. Even though there wasn’t before. Sigh.
Crowley is referred to has ‘His Majesty’ now?
Crowley has mommy issues, Crowley has mommy issues, Crowley has mommy issues. Rowena was a shitty mother, Rowena was a shitty mother, Rowena was a shitty mother.
Castiel is lurking in a park again…some purple haired door watcher is there. Whut. Anyway. This happens:
When will they get a better package…
And oh, Castiel has removed Metatron from Heaven Jail. This will end well. Sigh. The editors aren’t even trying anymore. If I’m spotting mistakes, they can do better. I am barely looking at the screen.
Sam asks Metatron how to get rid of the Mark of Disdain. SAM GETS TO DO SOMETHING!
Dean emerges from the shadows while Sam is talking to Metatron. He looks like he either wants to devour five Big Macs or beat the shit out of Metatron. Probably both.
In our latest edition of YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER! Castiel is still pretending to care about what’s-her-name. What is her name? She doesn’t trust Cas because she thinks Dean Winchester is a monster. She leaves. GO AHEAD, GURL.
Metatron says that they need the First Blade in order to get rid of the Mark. Oh, here we go. Sam is unhappy about this even though they brought Metatron to their sex dungeon in the first place. Shut up, Sam. Dean can shut up too even though I wasn’t listening to him.
Dean calls his ex-boyfriend, Crowley for a booty call. Crowley zips out of his lair pretty damn quickly, leaving Rowena to get up so some mess. Zzzzz.
I can’t remember Baby Novak’s name, but she’s in a bar, spilling of her business to strangers. This seems wise.
Crowley doesn’t want to bring back the First Blade. I can’t even remember what the hell that thing is. Just that it makes Dean locoooooo. Rowena casts some kind of watching spell and spies on Crowley’s conversation with Sam and Dean.
Unfortunately for us and Sam, it was raining.
In the end Crowley agrees to get the First Blade.
Rowena sucks up to Crowley’s personal butler. Imma need this bish to just shut the fuck up. I know her storyline will end up going fucking nowhere.
CLARE!! THAT’S HER NAME!
Castiel says that she’s full of rage, without a hint of irony. Oh and he wants Dean to reach out with her. Apparently Dean and Clare have a connection and Cas wants them to talk ‘from one messed up individual to another’. Cas, you need to shut the fuck up too.
Apparently he likes texting and emoticons…yeah, yeah, shut the fuck up.
Sam’s laptop is set to a blank search engine but he’s sitting behind it like he’s in *research mode*. I see you, Sam.
WELP. The First Blade is missing when Crowley gets there. The personal butler has it. Yeah, this dude is dumb as hell and he gets himself stabbed. Rowena lies about the whole thing and of course, his nightmare was her doing as well etc etc, blah, blah.
Clare is still with her friends, blabbing away. This chick…Dean leaves her a voice message, saying that they need to talk. The two wackos with Clare want to do something wacky. No idea why this is a plot line. Dooon’t care.
Metatron is like, “I helped you for free the first time, but I ain’t cheap from now on, mofo.” OH, HE TRIED IT! Dean brings out his angel blade. Welp. Metatron’s in some deep shit right now. He doesn’t give a fuck though and refuses to tell Dean what to do next now that they have the blade.
I guess he DID kill Dean. Hm. I’m team Metatron for the next two minutes.
So, Dean starts punching Metatron to get him to shut the fuck up (he was in the middle of a pretty boring bad guy monologue) and Metatron’s all like, ‘GO DARKER, GO DEEPER!’
You know what, let me move on.
Apparently beating the crap out of Metatron = detrimental. Loco!Dean doesn’t care though. He starts slicin’ the hell out of Metatron.
Castiel and Sam finally realise that Dean’s been AWOL. Yeah, cause it takes that long to make a sandwich #writing #notsureifthisisthesamescene #becausetheeditingisawful
Metatron tells Dean to go and screw himself. YAS, TELL HIM METATRON. Sam’s pounding on the door and trying to get in while Cas just stands there.
LMAO, apparently it takes blowing up the door to gain access? None of y’all had keys? Cas doesn’t have super strength anymore? He had to bust out the robotic eyes and electric shock hands. Damn.
Anyway, Castiel has to take Metatron back to Heaven Jail.
Isn’t it funny how EASY it is to restrain Loco!Dean. But…the Mark is so awful and strong. Sam literally just pulls him back and Dean’s like, ‘oh, okay, I’ll stop’.
I suppose Dean will cry a single tear later and whine about how he screwed everything up.
Sam says some Oprah-esque crap about Dean maybe needing to learn to live with the mark, kumbaya etc. Imma need you to shut the fuck up too, Sam. They all talk too much on this show.
Baby!Novak agrees to meet with Dean…oh, hell, girl. You’re going to get your new friends killed!! Her new, wacky friends are loitering in the bushes with a baseball bat and axe??
Baby!Novak chickens out and realises that…it might not have been a good idea to arrange to have a homicidal maniac beaten up. Dean almost bashes both of her new friends heads in, but ends up damaging a bench instead while she cowers in the distance.
LMAO, THE STUPIDITY.
Castiel finds Clare after that because angels can find people who pray to them. Okay, show. That praying to angels nonsense still doesn’t fly but whatever. I’mma let you finish.
Castiel and Clare part ways. Rude. He couldn’t even find her a nice family to stay with?!
I took nothing from this episode.