Last week: ANOTHER ONE BIT THE DUST
I’m tired as hell at the moment, so expect typos. Sorry 😦
This week: At King Pingu HQ, a bunch of people are arguing. Pingu breaks it up with a well executed shot. He’s pissed that no one has figured out who orchestrated the Arkham Asylum breakout.
They thought it was him. But Pingu is like, NAH, WE COOL RIGHT NOW! Things are going great! Well. That was until the ginger maniac destroyed everything.
Butch is just listening to Pingu rant with a confused look on his face: “No more, chaos?!” Yeah, Butch, Pingu has lost his damn mind.
Butch has also lost his mind. Or he’s smart because when Jessica Lucas shows him up he’s all like, ‘You don’t know meeee’ and she basically says that she’s not her for him anyway. Burn. Theo wants to speak to Pingu. Huh.
Meanwhile @ Gotham PD, everyone’s pissed with Jim, and he’s ragging on them for being shitty cops and then
MICHAEL CHIKLIS WALKS IN. He will always be The Thing to me, so I’mma call him that. But his name is Nathaniel Barnes.
Anyway, he comes in with his badass speech and calls out a bunch of cops and tells them that they have no shame. He calls them out on their shadiness and FIRES ALL OF THEM.
Well, damn. One dude complains and gets his ass arrested. The Thing tells them all that he’ll bust any more corrupt cops. WELL, DAMN. IT’S THE RISE OF COMMISSIONER THING.
He calls Gordon into his office and basically calls him a troublemaker, a fighter. Jim’s just like, ‘yeah, that’s me’ and he gets his ass the SIC job. GO JIM. #RiseOfTheBadass
Commissioner Thing and Jim have that whole army thing going on. They eat tough for breakfast. What does that taste like? Harvey is concerned, because he’s the only realist on this show. Jim doesn’t want to hear it though because he’s all part of the millionth GCPD revamp.
Back at House of Theo, Theo is…watching himself on TV and enjoying it. Pingu walks in and he’s like, ‘CALL ME PENGUIN’. It’s grown on him but…he literally threw a fit over it in the last episode. Welp.
Anyway, he clocks that Theo was behind the Arkham breakout when he sees Crazy!Barbs. Jessica Lucas calls him the ‘King of Garbage’. Her acting is garbage….
Theo wants to build some kind of energy thing or something that would involve knocking down a lot of residential areas. Pingu wants no parts of it. Theo wants him to take out all of the mayoral candidates.
Pings sets him straight and tells him they need assasins not him.
OH HELL, NAW! THEY KIDNAPPED MOMMA PINGU. So they’re going to blackmail him.
WHY IS THE TITLE CARD SHOWING UP 15 MINUTES IN? Seriously. We all know what we’re watching at this point.
Welp. Commissioner Thing calls Jim and Lee answers and basically everybody knows that he’s banging the M.E. – hell, they’re banging in real life too. I’m still salty about that. He wants Jim to meet him at the police academy.
Anyway, Commissioner Thing says that he and Jim are warriors but Jim needs reliable help instead of going after everyone on his own. Basically, he wants them to grab a group of the finest cops before they get all jaded and corrupt. Uhm. Don’t these kids already live in Gotham? Wishful thinking on that one.
They interview four kids who are now Unit Alpha of the GCPD Strike Force. That sounds like some kind of Power Rangers series. OMG, IT IS A POWER RANGERS SERIES!
Jim isn’t sure if they’re not asking too much of the kids, but Commissioner Thing says they’ll be alright.
Oh, part of Theo’s plan was to have Pingu also attempt to ‘kill’ him. I’m so confused. He has a non-American accent but speaks in an American accent when in public? Anyway, he announces that he’s running for Mayor.
Pingu stabs one of the other mayoral candidates to death.
Yo, Butch is crazy. Some chick asks him why Pingu is doing this and he says, ‘I have no idea, we’ve been doing crazy stuff all day!’.
Yeah, you don’t say!
WHOA, HOLD UP. OG ALFRED JUST CLOCKED SELINA IN THE FACE.
Apparently it was for Reggie….the dude that tried to KILL HIM? He’s wrong for that. I have no idea what she was doing by Lil Bruce’s school though, smh. Alfred basically says that Lil Bruce’s life will be better without Selina in it. RUUUUUUUDE. Alfred ain’t shit. After all that he’s going to make Lil Bruce to to run home! Nah, must be editing or something because Alred is getting the rough edit this episode. I’m still in shock. We have old dudes punching kids now?? Writers, you took it too far. That’s just foul.
Back at the precinct, Riddlernygma is practising his lines with a skeleton…thankfully, his evil alter ego shows up and talks some sense into him and he ditches the corpse and asks Ms Kringle to go to dinner with him. She says yes. WOO! I think.
Commissioner Thing is saying a lot of badass things about destiny, heroes, blah, blah. *yawn* Strike Force get some shiny new uniforms. Before he can unleash more military speak on us, someone tells them about the stabbed mayoral candidate – at the scene, one of the witnesses spills the beans. Uh-oh, girl they have your name and address!!
Lil Bruce is at dinner with Treacherous Theo. UGH. TERRIBLE. Lil B is distracted by Theo’s pretty niece who’s playing in a fountain…she has manic pixie girl written all over her. Anyway, Lil B has himself a new girl thing called Silver St. Cloud or something.
Ms Kringle was expecting ‘Chez Moi’ to be a restaurant but it’s Nygma’s house. Oops. Her hair is unfortunate.
Pingu tells Butch that Theo is forcing him to kill all of these people and that he has his mom. Butch says that they’ll find her.
Oh, shit. Victor Zsasz has arrived at another mayoral candidates office. He’s there to ‘volunteer’. Welp. He does some backflips and shit and shoots the place down. For some reason he appears to be immune to bullets. Jim sees Vic and seems to realise that Pingu is involved (I guess). Strike Force are here and well, one of them gets shot. Totally didn’t see that coming.
Back at dinner, Ms Kringle is just like, ‘I’d like to apologise for being creeped out by your creepiness’. Bish, please. Oh and then Nygma accidentally says that he’s glad that her ex is ‘dead’ (he killed him last season), and he’s all like, WOOPS, FIGURE OF SPEECH. I am worried about Ms Kringle though, she’s all entranced and shit, GIRL TURN YOUR BRAIN BACK ON. I still like Nygma though. And I can allow him to get his girl for one episode but, we all know how this shit is going to end. Badly.
Jim shows up at Pingu’s lair and confronts him. Pingu isn’t here for this though, because he knows that Jim doesn’t want anyone to find out about him killing that guy and running Commissioner Loeb out of town. I think Jim/Pingu are no more, y’all. They’re both like, “I’ll face whatever happens to me.”
Strike Force get their first mission – Taking down Penguin.
Okay, so he’s kind of bad and all but. WHATEVER. Yeah, Jim, you better have that look on your face! You’re being shady right now.
Lil B is making friends with Silver and her friend, while Selina is by herself 😦
Theo is doing his bad guy shit, he will be mayor blah, blah, blah. How is is stealing it from under people’s noses when you’ve killed the other candidates? Okay.
Pingu is crying over Momma!Pingu and he throws something into the fire. Vodka or something, I don’t know. I was wondering why the episode wasn’t over.
Why are they ending the episode on these weird montage type of clips with voiceovers? This is the second episode in the row with this? Did they need to fill up some space? It’s just weird. They really could have ended with the Operation: Penguin. It’s cool though.