GOTHAM: 2X03, papa don’t preach


SNAK

thelastlaugh203


Last week: CHAOS.

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And the reinvention of the telephone.

This week:

Someoone is thrown out a window….by JIM GORDON? Okay, Jim. Do you.

Jim and Harvey Bullock are looking for Jerome Valeska and Jim is NOT PLAYING. After interrogating another dude – with violence – they throw him out of a window.

TITLE CARD LESS THAN A MINUTE IN!! AMAZING.

Jessica Lucas and Crazy!Barbs are lovers. Sigh. They spend some time making out. Yaaaay.

Theo is happy that his sister is getting laid. Apparently Jessica Lucas is ‘fragile’. I think that’s another way of saying completely unhinged.

IS THEO RA’S Al GHUL OR NOT? QUESTIONS. I need answers.

Apparently his family built the city and he wants to reclaim what’s his. SIGH. Bad guys have no originality. They’re either trying to destroy planets or cities that THEY live in or create havoc for the sake of it. Anyway, Theo says he will help Crazy!Barbs destroy Jim. Why does she want to destroy Jim? Didn’t she break up with him?

joker laugh

LOL. YO. OKAY.

Anyway, Jim is in full bad ass mode, talking about how they all need to kick ass and find out who killed Commissioner Essen (previously known as Commissioner What’s-Her-Name?)

There’s some shit with Lee and Jim. Don’t care. THEY CAN KISS EACH OTHER IN REAL LIFE. She wants him to go to some show.

Harvey show’s up and he’s all like:

“NOT TO INTERRUPT YOUR WEIRDLY TIMED MAKE-OUT SESSION”

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THANK YOU! Nine cops are dead and they’re just making out in the middle of the precinct? BYE.

Where’s Scotty this week? Is Harvey still engaged? Is he still asking her to beam him up?

dean fake smile

Anyway, they have an address for Jerome’s dad, a blind fortune teller from last season WHO coincidentally played the creepy circus dude on Supernatural (2×02).

Jerome/Joker-In-Waiting and Jessica Lucas seem to catch up with Papa Joker-In-Waiting first. Welp. Jerome monologues about his Daddy issues while Jessica Lucas raids the fridge. Go ahead and eat, girl. Killing people requires a healthy diet.

Jerome is still yapping away. KILL THE DUDE ALREADY. Oh, there’s some manical laughter. Jerome has a whole plan, something to do with letters. Welp, Papa decides to twist the knife and says his son will be a curse upon Gotham. Jerome is just about to kill him when

JIM FREAKING GORDON SHOWS UP.

Well. Jerome and Jessica Lucas disappear but not before stabbing Papa in the eye and leaving some kind of poisonous vapour behind. Jerome tries to kill Jim but he fights back and tries to kill Jerome.

The scene ends with Jessica Lucas preparing to beat the shit out of Jim. Poor Jim.

Lil Bruce and Alfred are at the same show that Lee wanted to attend. Lil Bruce enquires after Jim because he’s a little sweetie. Selina is at the event, pickpocketing. Lil Bruce catches her and is all like, ‘this is a charity event for a children’s hospital’ but she doesn’t give a shit. IS THIS WHAT KING PINGU HAS HER DOING? Sigh.

Crazy!Barbs is accompanying Theo to this event – apparently there’s going to be a magician. /WE ALL KNOW WHAT’S COMING.

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In other news, what is thiis bird’s nest on Crazy!Barb’s head? Tweet, tweet.

And, Lee and Alfred are telling each other their life stories. Alfred tries to put the moves on her. AL, YOU SLY DOG!!! Lee’s all like, ‘Nah. it’s cool, but WAIT, YOU KNOW A CHEF AT A RESTAURANT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO EAT AT FOR YEARS…’

Watch your back, Jim!

Lil Bruce wants to leave but Alfred makes them stay because Lee is MCing. Welp. Should be a night to remember.

She introduces the ‘Great Rodolfo’ who is really Jerome. Oh boy.

Wait. WHERE’S JIM?!

AND HARVEY.

*SENDS BAT SIGNAL*

Jerome requires a volunteer and he so happens to choose Lil Bruce. OH, HELL NO. ALFRED WHY ARE YOU ALLOWING THIS!

OH AND TWO SECONDS LATER ALFRED HAS HIS RESERVATIONS. SMH.

Jim and Harvey are at GCPD, recovering from their gas attack.

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Jerome’s letters were basically a ruse to con Jim and Harvey into thinking that Papa broke him out of jail – a cover for Theo. Jim isn’t buying it though, cause he’s Jim freakin’ Gordon!

Back at the show, Lil Bruce is one piece. There’s a ‘split personality’ joke. Hm. Lee starts to recognise that something is amiss. The assistant is Crazy!Barbs!! #WHATASHOCK

Lee’s phone call to Jim is thwarted because she wasn’t very smart about it.

Jerome jokes that nobody in the room is getting out alive and he stabs the Deputy Mayor. Alfred then declares that it is time to leave.

LIL BRUCE WANTED TO LEAVE HALF AN HOUR AGO, ALF.

Bruce goes running after Selina, who helps him hide. Jim arrives at the scene and asks who’s in charge. The cop on scene says, “I guess you are.”

YAS.

Jerome and Crazy!Barbs have Lee pinned to some kind of magician’s wheel. And once again, it’s being broadcast on TV.

SIGH.

Theo shows up, acting all noble and saying that Jerome and Crazy!Barbs need to stop what they’re doing. CLEVER. PAINTING HIMSELF AS A HERO.

Jim says that they’re going in.

Selina shows Lil Bruce another exit and he’s all like, ‘Nope. Sorry. I have to go back for Alfred. I miss you. XOXO.” She leaves but Jim and his excellent 20/20 vision spots her outside.

This happens:

vlcsnap-2015-10-10-00h46m23s59 vlcsnap-2015-10-10-00h46m29s119Welp. So Crazy!Barbs end game is seriously her getting back with Jim. Apparently they’re made for each other because they both have a dark side. Lee decks her. Barbs gets her own back but only after Jerome cautions her. They don’t want to kill her…yet.

Jerome calls for Bruce to come out on stage but Lil B is hiding in the wings.

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Crazy!Barbs says ‘kill his butler’. THE RUDENESS. They round up Alfred and Lil Bruce is just about to go out when Jim shows up.

YES. COME THROUGH, JIM!

Lil Bruce comes out eventually and gives Alfred a gun and tells him that Jim is behind the curtain.

ALFRED IS A BADASS. He does some badass things with the gun.

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Somehow Bruce ends up elsewhere and Jerome is holding a knife to his throat.

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And….

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.

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THEO TURNS UP AND STABS JEROME IN THE NECK.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.

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I THOUGHT HE WAS THE JOKER-IN-WAITING???

THEO SAYS THAT THIS ISN’T WHAT THEY REHEARSED AND THAT THE PLAN HAS CHANGED.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.

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WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.

I admit that he was annoying the shit out of me but I actually think killing him off this early is a bad idea. THEY JUST NEEDED TO TONE HIM DOWN.

Sigh.

Crazy!Barbs escapes, because you know, watching someone bleed to death is an adequate distraction.

Meanwhile, KING PINGU IS WATCHING IT ALL ON TV!

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He says that Jerome was just causing chaos for chaos’ sake. Harvey shows up and is amused at King Pingu’s new monarchy/throne.

OH, SHIT, HE’S ASKING ABOUT THE FAVOUR THAT JIM DID FOR PINGU. Apparently Jim was reluctant to come back to Pingu for help. Hmm. Harvey is not impressed. To him, Pingu will always be UMBRELLA BOY. LOL.

PINGU IS NOT AMUSED. He’s looking better this season. Less gross.

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Back at the event, they wheel Jerome out and Jim commends Bruce on his good work. Alfred thanks Theo for saving Lil Bruce’s life. Jim introduces himself and Theo tells him to call if he needs anything.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

IT’S A TRAP.

HE’S LULLING YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY!!!!

Alfred is a cheeky old beggar, he’s still trying to put the moves on Lee.

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Jim clocks what’s happening and makes Lee kiss him while Alfred is walking out.

LMAOOOOO, I SEE YOU, JIM. ~JEALOUSY RIDES WITH YOU~

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Alfred is embarrassed when he turns around and sees them. Lil Bruce insists that he didn’t know that Lee and Jim were together. LMAO.

Back at his house, Theo admires himself on TV, while Barbs puts the moves on him, WHILE, Jessica Lucas stares on in the distance. Uh-oh.

There’s a bizarre sequence with people mimicking Jerome’s crazy laugh – apparently the curse thing was true. Heck, some dudes even kill a homeless dude. Papa!Jerome’s voice plays out as the episode ends.

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WELP.

There’s no way in hell an actual dead body would be left like this. LOL.


th

disdain

I detect some sock smoking, y’all.

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