I wrote part one a while ago and I’m happy to report that I have mostly stuck to everything there. I’ve had some disagreements with people, of course, that’s life but no real major arguments, which is good because this hasn’t been the year for bullshit. *kanye shrug*
So! Let me bestow my armchair psychology on you!
Choose Your Battles Wisely
By that I mean, choose what you’re willing to argue about wisely. I recently got into two minor arguments. One was about the race of an iconic film character (if you’re British, you might be able to guess which one it is immediately) and the other was about two television shows that I don’t watch.
In both cases, I responded to an initial comment with my opinion like I do. Nothing I said was offensive. These two people didn’t see it that way and I was kind of bemused, but also annoyed enough to engage because both people insulted me and I will never sit there and take that from anyone – especially over fictional characters. Now, I am not one for equating fictional characters to real life issues, so the race one was really kind of weird to me. I understood the person’s point, but I didn’t care for their delivery or agree with them. I actually thought they were being very ignorant (although apparently I was). The other person couldn’t fathom one having an opinion on something they haven’t seen even though what I said was more of an opinion on the perception of these shows as opposed to the shows themselves because you know, I don’t watch them!
I shut both arguments down after three or four exchanges, and interestingly enough I was a harsher with the TV person, mostly because they concocted their own version of what I’d said and I wasn’t in the mood. The other person honestly seemed like someone I would probably cross the street to avoid so I cut them off with an ‘agree to disagree’ and ignored their attempts to act like they were just about to do the same thing (this person also tried to twist my words into something else but honestly, I found it kind of funny). And the race issue is at least an important one. Someone else’s hard-on for shows I do not care about isn’t even a blip on my radar.
Upon reflection, I realised that in taking part in both arguments when I clearly wasn’t going to agree with either of them and didn’t really care to (especially with TV person) was just a waste of my time; however, I didn’t regret standing up for myself. And I thinking defending yourself and being argumentative are two things that are lumped together just to make people somewhat submissive. I do understand that being the better person and avoiding conflict is maybe the best way to behave but I see nothing wrong with defending yourself and then exiting stage left. If you let people demean you once, there will be no end to it. Some of these people smell blood and go in for the kill. Reject their bullshit and then pay them dust.
Detecting Crazy and Stupidity
I don’t know what the PC term for ‘crazy’ is, but I mean people who are of sound mind that act like they have marshmallows for brains. If you come across a post or something someone’s said that just makes no sense to you whatsoever, say your piece and then run like your ass is on fire. Log off. Create a pillow fortress. Go for a run. Just remove yourself from their presence. Or don’t say anything and pick up a book and try to remember that stupidity is only partially contagious. Detecting crazy is usually easy on the internet. If it’s three thousand words long, rambling and incoherent – Alt+F4 is your BFF. Detecting it in real life is somewhat more difficult but usually, it reveals itself. The trick is to lull people into a false sense of calmness. Or ask them a politically charged question and run away screaming at the appropriate time.
Featured image was found here.