LAST WEEK: Crazy shit happened.
Also, I found out that Jim and Lee are booed up and pregnant IN REAL LIFE.
Congrats to them but….
Fuckin’ Hollywood, man. The ick factor just went up.
THIS WEEK: Theo Galavan is saying some shit in a very slow, deep, evil voice, so I’m assuming it’s some deep, evil shit. I didn’t listen because I’m watching this so that I DON’T fall asleep.
Oh, wait isn’t that the old Mayor? Well damn. Or is he the current Mayor? Yeah, he is. Oops. Gotham needs to have character cards or something. I can’t keep track of this shit.
Anyway, Theo is terrorising the Mayor. Oh and Asylum Assemble are throwing people off the Gotham Gazette building. They’re calling themselves ‘MANIAX’.
Points for lack of originality.
WAIT. Jim Gordon is in charge of the case to find the six missing inmates.
UH, ISN’T THAT A CONFLICT OF INTEREST? HE WAS SMASHING CRAZY!BARBIE!
Jim helpfully tells us who they are.
The title card has gone missing again this week. Sigh.
Theo wants the MANIAX (seriously) to make a grand entrance because killing six people didn’t quite cut it.
He’s making them practise saying ‘Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen’ because they’re going to be on TV.
Crazy!Barbie is having a playdate with Jessica Lucas. I…I don’t even know what to say. They’re whipping some dude and it’s just weird.
Meanwhile, Lil Bruce is going through the Bat-Lair. Alfred doesn’t approve of the guns and weaponry in the lair, so he destroys the computer to stop Lil Bruce from getting in too deep. Lil Bruce throws a hissy fit and goes all Apprentice on us.
ALFRED, YOU’RE FIRED!
How’s Lil Bruce going to do Alfred like that though? What sane person would let a 12 year old boy play with guns and the shit that got his father killed?
S’alright though. Alfred will be back when Lil Bruce realises that he doesn’t know where the Rice Krispies are kept. Snap, crackle and pop.
Joker-In-Waiting is insane. We know this. Theo knows this. We need more evidence apparently. There’s some tomfoolery with an unloaded gun where Joker-In-Waiting pretends to almost shoot himself three times.
HARVEY BULLOCK HAS A FIANCEE CALLED SCOTTY?
IS HE BOOED UP AND PREGNANT WITH HER IN REAL LIFE TOO?
I digress, Harvey refuses to come back to work when Jim comes to ask him. Scotty’s like, ‘Nah, bitch’ and Harvey’s whipped, so. ‘Nah, bitch’ it is.
Apparently he’s a happy man.
Anyway. Jim is looking flawless as per. I’m still mad at him IRL though.
Alfred’s all packed up and Lil Bruce offers to provide him with references! In green crayon most likely.
That would be cute. They say their goodbyes.
AW, LIL BRUCE, ALFRED IS THE REAL MVP. You’re wrong for this.
The MANIAX are stalking a bunch of cheerleaders who are on a bus. RUIN THE CHEERLEADERS, RUIN THE WORLD!
Crazy ass Nygma is still crushing on Ms Kringle. Oh and he’s still arguing with his alter ego. Nothing new here. Thanks for the reminder though.
The MANIAX catch up to the cheerleaders.
Joker-In-Waiting makes the cheerleaders spell ‘Oh, no’ incorrectly while his friends pour gasoline all over the cheerleaders’ bus.
JIM GORDON TURNS UP AND…STOPS DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THEM?
That was pretty stupid. A random cop is shot but no one cares about him.
Joker-In-Waiting leaves his not-so-bright friend to light up the cheerleaders…making it easy for Jim to SAVE THE FREAKIN’ DAY, ONCE AGAIN.
By driving the bus a few metres away.
They’re definitely more MANIAX than BRAINIAX.
Not-so-bright friend is shot dead by Jessica Lucas sniper-style as he tries to bargain with Jim. One has to wonder why she didn’t just molotov the bus from a distance? That might have helped the plan along.
Another one bites the dust, and another one bites, another one bites, another one bites the duuuuuuuuuuuuuust.
Lil Bruce joins Alfred at the bus station and says he doesn’t want him to leave. AWW, COME THROUGH, LIL BRUCE! Alfred says that Lil Bruce is on a suicide mission. They agree that Alfred will ‘make him ready’ for his true calling, and hell, Lil B will even go back to school.
So long as Alfred fixes the computer because Lil Bruce wasn’t the one that broke it. Lil B is extra sassy this week. I kind of like it.
Alfred ends up seated next to Lucius Fox at a bar. Convenient. After a long and boring story, Alfred says he needs to confide in Fox, but he needs to know that he’s trustworthy. Oh and he enquires about Fox’s ability to fix computers.
WHERE’S THE TITLE CARD? DID I MISS IT? DID PINGU EAT IT? HELL, WHERE’S PINGU?
Jim gets a call from Crazy!Barbie and is so shocked that he stops to stare at the phone in amazement.
He tries to reason with her and says she’s a good woman and she’s basically like, ‘LOL, YOU DON’T KNOW ME” and it turns out that she’s in the police station. That turns out to be a diversion to draw Jim out of the police station while the Maniax attempt to stage a coup. Oh and one of the Maniax crew shows up and beats the shit out of Jim. Crazy!Barbie claims that she’s not sick, she’s ‘free’.
Free of your wits, Barbs, but it’s cool.
Oh, while the police station is systematically destroyed, Lee is cowering in her office. Meh.
Joker-In-Waiting really loves the sound of his own voice. He monologues his way through some shit. Apparently, ‘There’s nothing more contagious than laughter!’
Commissioner What’s-Her-Name is a badass, y’all. She spits in Joker-In-Waiting’s face and headbutts him. I’m just glad that she shut him up temporarily.
Outside, Jim wakes up and by the time he makes it back to the station. we’re treated to the terrible job the make-up artist has done. He looks less like he’s been beaten up and more like he got a little over-excited with face paint.
Commissioner What’s-Her-Name is dead. Now, now, Bruno, first you got rid of Jada and now Commissioner What’s-Her-Name? I would trade Jessica Lucas for both of them but I suppose there’s at least one black female actress on the show. Sigh.
Alfred hears about what’s happened and for some reason, Lil Bruce comes running down to the station to check that Jim is okay. Aww, he said that Jim’s been a really good friend. He apologises for the pep talk from last week. S’too late, Lil B!! It’s cool though. Jim’s karma is Crazy!Barb.
After hearing the news, HARVEY BULLOCK COMES BACK!
Joker-In-Waiting made sure to leave a very annoying video. Sigh. I find him very annoying. Can’t Crazy!Barbie be the ringleader instead?
I’m kinda over this Rise Of The Villains stuff now because it’s just going to get even more and more ham-fisted. If the writers were smart, they would have let the craziness actually build up instead of dumping us right in the middle of it. It’s not a rise if they didn’t start from the bottom. Sigh. Can we get some background story up in this joint? What’s Lethargic Theo’s true identity? Answers on a postcard, please.
I did actually like the stuff with Bruce. His eventual transformation is starting to move along nicely and that subplot was a welcome break from the craziax. Nygma is my fave and all but his presence in this episode was unnecessary. I suppose it was four minutes without Joker-In-Waiting, so I’ll take it, but still. I need a little bit of coherency.
Until next week!
See previous Gotham posts here.