Ah, Sharknado. My favorite SyFy shark movie series. Despite the fact that all three movies are basically the same in that they’re completely batshit insane, the third one didn’t disappoint.
From Neyo as a Secret Service Agent to Ray J as a NASA employee, to Michele Bachman as herself and Anthony Weiner doing some *serious* acting, the laughs just kept on coming!
- The James Bond opening credits. LOL. This had me cracking up.
- Finn (the main character) receiving the first ‘order of the golden chainsaw’, but only after running all the way to the White House Tom Cruise-style because of traffic.
- The White House being destroyed by sharks after Finn and The President take them on.
- Tara Reid’s inability to convey any emotion, not even when she reveals that her character’s prosthetic arm now comes with a fully functioning chainsaw (which seems dangerous given that she’s pregnant) that she seems unwilling to use. SHE LET CHRIS KIRKPATRICK DIE!
- Frankie Muniz’s character’s untimely death. It was brutal. All he had to do was push a button. But before he could, he lost every damn limb he had. He did manage to push the button though, because SyFy science is in a league of its own and the immediate major blood loss didn’t kill him.
- Jerry Springer getting eaten. I wish this would happen during episodes of his show (why did anyone ever think Jerry Springer’s show was awesome? Has the internet ruined people or did we all have depressingly low standards?)
- Kim Richards. All she had to do was say something about all access passes but she was clearly very excited. And rightly so!
- Tara Reid managing to make delivering a baby inside a shark (before chainsawing/clawing her way out) as wooden and unexciting as possible. This happened after their space shuttle exploded and fell into a shark, while Finn literally fell out of space. I think. There was almost too much awesomeness for me to comprehend. Almost.
- David Hasselhoff being some kind of smart NASA General who sacrifices himself so he can be his son’s hero. #HookedOnAFeeling
- SHARKS IN SPACE!!! THEY CAN SURVIVE UP THERE BECAUSE THEY HAVE ICE IN THEIR STOMACHS AND EAT BIRDS….#SYENCE
- A heavily pregnant Tara Reid going into Space in the first place. There was literally no reason for it.
- The #AprilLives/#AprilDies Choose Your Own Adventure-esque hashtag battle at the end and the extremely bad acting that preceded that.
Personally, I enjoyed every second of it. LOL. Sequel ideas, anyone? *coughs*