Let’s be serious for a brief minute or so.


I just read about Jared pulling out of cons and needing his family etc and I have to admit, I do feel sorry for him. He asked for people to write to him I guess on FB/Twitter. I tweeted him, though someone should tell him that false validation and sympathy from people you don’t really know won’t help. I guess that’s something he’ll learn eventually. I’m never going to forget all of the problematic stuff he’s said or how he belittles the staff at airports like they’re beneath him but I do have some sympathy. I’ve been through some pretty dark periods in the past few months where I was very down and I didn’t want to be around a lot of people and my environment was stifling and not somewhere I wanted to be. It’s partly why I stopped blogging/recapping on here. So I can sympathise and emphasise. And I think it was good of him to pull out of the cons and tell people why.

Last time I posted about his charity the first comment was someone calling me a hater or whatever but I’m not. I want Jared to get better – and not just so we can all go back to mocking his hair and gently persuading him to get a haircut, but because depression is nasty and nobody should have to go through it. I still don’t (and will never) support his charity for reasons that I’ve said but in all honesty, I will never support a charity backed by someone in the public eye – but I do commend him for trying to raise awareness and being candid about his own issues.

In my opinion, having to deal with all of this under the eyes of a million SPN fangirls doesn’t seem smart and I don’t sympathise with him on that front because there definitely comes a point in life when your mental health > money and you need to make a decision that benefits you, and for his sake I hope he’s at that point. We know from past seasons that he’s had issues with his character and if that’s impacting him negatively, he needs to be able to walk away and regroup in private with his family.

Either way, I wish him the best.

-S

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15 comments

  1. Honestly, you’ve echoed all my thoughts on this. I just heard about this not long ago and I admit I feel sorry for him as well. I’ve gone through some tough times over the past handful of years so yeah, I do sympathize/empathize.

    But you make a good point about it maybe not being a wise move to seek validation in this way. Actually a week or so ago (right before Asylum con I think) he tweeted begging people to tweet him with the good things that have happened to them because of SPN. When I heard about that I kinda started thinking “uh oh.”

    I’ve had issues with him too of course but I do hope he gets better because depression is nasty stuff. The somewhat mild bouts I’ve had with it at various times over the past 5 or so years were more than enough for me.

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    1. Yeah, that and what I saw him post today (write to him) won’t help him at all. I wish someone would tell him that. It’s false validation and what he needs is to feel good about himself because he feels that way, not because people are telling him how amazing he is etc. People lie, but we are (hopefully) true to ourselves.

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      1. I agree with you about the public validation. I hope he gets professional help and support from the people who actually know him.

        If the show is really dragging him down that much, maybe he should walk away, but it’s hard to quit a multi-million dollar job.

        I’m not saying that certain factions are entirely to blame, mental illness is a complex thing, but the constant barrage of psychotic hatred from the deannuts and/or destiellers can’t be helping his mental state. I just hope they have enough class to refrain from tweeting hatred at this time in his life.

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        1. I saw that he posted it to Facebook too…sigh. I wish he wouldn’t but I guess he’ll have to learn that it’s not a good idea by himself.

          It is hard to quit a job like his, I agree. And I don’t doubt for a second that he doesn’t enjoy the benefits but everyone has their limits.

          I agree with you there, though I think the positive comments far outweigh the negative. Celebrities tend to focus on the negative though, so yeah, I doubt it helps. He probably should be smarter about how he uses social media and not Google himself etc but that’s easier said than done.

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  2. I hope his family is able to help him and maybe convince him to seek some professional help. If the show, the level of fame and the social media has become too much too handle for whatever reasons than it would be best for him to stop all of it for a while. Step away, relax, seek some counseling, and take care of yourself and those who love you. No one aspires to have a Charlie Sheen level breakdown. I hope he is able to find the help he needs.Mental illness is a serious issue that is not to be taken lightly regardless of it’s severity. I’m not on twitter or I’d send a supportive tweet. Anyone suffering from mental illness needs support and stability.

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    1. I hope so too. I sent a tweet and FB comment but ultimately nothing any of us say will help in the long run. Hopefully he’ll get the help he needs from the right places and go back to being happy and content with his life.

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  3. The whole thing stinks to me. If he can’t handle the adoration he gets at a con after over a month of R&R I don’t know how having all his social media accounts flooded with messages from strangers (even if they’re fans) is going to be helpful at all – for me it would be overwhelming even on a good day, so I can’t imagine it would benefit him. Also, letting the con people know by tweet? Walking out day of? And he hasn’t said himself that it’s because of depression or w/e his basket of issues contains – that’s come from oblique comments from Jensen, hashtags, and fandom putting pieces together (the same people who think Jared and Jensen are together even though Jensen stayed at the con and let Jared get on a plane by himself). It sounds like a con, Jared wanting validation and attention from a captive audience to distract from something else. He chose to let fans into his life on this scale.

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    1. We’ve spoken about this elsewhere, of course 🙂 but I definitely agree with this:

      It sounds like a con, Jared wanting validation and attention from a captive audience to distract from something else. He chose to let fans into his life on this scale.

      And like you, receiving a bucket-load of messages telling me how amazing I am would overwhelm me too, so I don’t think that will help him in the long run, but it’s his headache. Yeah, the overall vagueness is a bit off and I hate it when people post cryptic messages and let people run with it but I guess the hashtag was supposed to clue us in.

      (the same people who think Jared and Jensen are together even though Jensen stayed at the con and let Jared get on a plane by himself)

      TINHAT LOGIC! I mean, like the tweet said, Jensen’s got his back. He stayed so that he could represent his boyfriend BFF. #makesense #otp #onetruelove ❤

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      1. Now his management have made a statement citing exhaustion. Exhaustion =/= depression (=/= fatigue etc etc). Do steroids have withdrawal symptoms?

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        1. …wasn’t he clubbing and partying in Europe before this entire debacle? And they know that all of these con dates crop up a month after filming ends and don’t do anything to change it. I can understand that he’s exhausted but he knows what the deal is regarding con so citing fatigue is an easy excuse.

          LOL. Last time I saw an episode he looked quite lean but like all drugs, they do indeed. Usually depression, irritability, mood swings etc.

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          1. I saw some pictures that indicated that. I mean, I know firsthand that sometimes the bad days come out of nowhere, but he should have known to take care of himself before hand so he could have spoons for the con. That’s common sense even for people without spoon problems. He probably got at least some of his fee too, sigh.

            He could be having withdrawal. If he went off them to take psych meds and the reactions to those mixing with the withdrawal… I see it. But then no sensible dr would prescribe those and let him run off across the world where they couldn’t monitor. (I mean, he would be paying them so he could, but a good one wouldn’t have it.)

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            1. I think they get to keep the sign-on fee because it’s what the organisers use to attract people to buy tickets. That was part of the reason why none of them were willing to do the ill-fated Portugal convention from a few years ago. The organisers couldn’t afford to pay Misha and Jared’s sign-on fee so they all bounced. I have no idea if Jensen actually got the money/gave it back but supposedly the organisers didn’t even have the money to pay back fans who’d bought tickets. Anyway, the point is that it is profitable to sign up to do these things so maybe that was part of it.

              Antidepressants can be used to treat withdrawal so that might not be too bad, but mixing alcohol with any meds could be an issue. Although, for all we know he might not be on any meds (unless he’s confirmed that he is? I know he said he was clinically depressed but that =/= on medication). I don’t know about doctors monitoring him. I mean, they do check-ups and follow-up appointments but what else can they do? They can advise him but he’s not exactly obligated to listen to them.

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  4. This is a crazy long post, y’all.
    I felt all giddy when I found out that Jared had been diagnosed with clinical depression in the past (OMG, he and I are depression twinkies!) and so I read a few articles about it, including the one in Variety . In the Variety article, I was pretty disturbed when I got to this part at the beginning:

    And I, in the past, have had my own struggles of not [being] so happy with where I am in life, which is strange and I think it goes to show. … Maybe a lot of people don’t know this, but Season 3, we were shooting an episode, and I went back to my trailer to get changed and just kind of broke down.

    A doctor came to set and talked to me for about 30 minutes or 45 minutes and said: “Jared, I think you’re clinically depressed. I think I should write you a note and we can shut down production for five days and then we can take it from there.” And it kind of hit me like a sack of bricks. I mean, I was 25 years old. I had my own TV show. I had dogs that I loved and tons of friends and I was getting adoration from fans and I was happy with my work, but I couldn’t figure out what it was; it doesn’t always make sense is my point. It’s not just people who can’t find a job, or can’t fit in in society that struggle with depression sometimes.

    Luckily, two of my great friends, Jensen who everybody knows very well, and my friend Kelly who I work with, came to my trailer to check in on me and talked to me for probably an hour or so and then, I was like, “All right guys, I’m going through a tough time right now. I don’t know what it is, but I’m just going to keep my legs moving. I’m going to keep fighting.” They let me go that day. They were like, “Hey buddy, go home. Call your family, and you’re off work. Come back to work tomorrow.”

    I’m thinking (and okay, I’m also being judgmental) about several things from this passage.

    1. A physician diagnosed Jared with clinical depression and recommended shutting down production for 5 days and then possibly re-evaluating the situation after those 5 days.

    2. A physician is a person who has gone to medical school for this kind of thing (MEDICINE) and has taken actual classes on MEDICINE, including MENTAL ILLNESS.

    3. Jared talks to his friends, Jensen and Kelly, who, as far I can tell, are not physicians trained in medicine, including mental illness.

    4. Kelly and Jensen are like, “Hey, take the rest of the day off and come back tomorrow!”

    5. Jared returns to work the next day, against the recommendation of a physician, but you know, in agreement with his friends who gave him the afternoon off.

    6. Jared lists “adoration from fans” as a reason why he was surprised by his depression.

    In light of his current illness/exhaustion/depression/drug withdrawal?, here are more thoughts I’m thinking:
    A. Jared has a history of mental illness.
    B. Jared has a history of ignoring the recommendation of medical professionals.
    C. Jared uses overworking as a coping mechanism.
    D. Jared (possibly) uses adoration from fans as a coping mechanism, “See! Other people love me! That means I’m okay/loveable/matter/am good enough!”
    E. Jared has a history of choosing advice from his friends over medical professionals, even when his friends’ advice could be extremely harmful.

    In light of my own history with recurrent major depression and suicidal ideation and being in A LOT of psychotherapy, here are even more thoughts and judgments:
    i. Boozing and doping and clubbing and gambling and binge eating and shopping and having sex and overworking are all destructive coping mechanisms. They can help you forget for a little bit but then the depression comes back. That’s why you have to keep on doing [insert destructive behavior here].
    ii. Depressed Brain/Drug Addict Brain is not Rational Brain. I can’t stress this enough. My Depressed Brain had misfiring neurons and stupid domapine receptors. I thought of stupid solutions all the time. “If I bought the right dress, I would be prettier and would be a different person.” “If I had sex with this boy or girl, that would mean I was pretty and not this depressed person.” “It would be better if I just weren’t here. It would be so easy to drive off that flyover.”
    iii. My depressive episodes seemed a little different every time and so it was hard to determine by myself when I was depressed and suicidal. One time I would sleep all the time, the next time I couldn’t sleep at all.
    iv. I was hospitalized for 5 days during one of my suicidal episodes and it was not nearly enough to get me stabillized as far as medication. In retrospect, I needed to be hospitalized for at least 30 days. I felt like such a failure when I went into the hospital but I now think of it as one of the best and bravest things I’ve ever done.
    v. Medication AND a very good team of therapists have been essential to my wellbeing outside of the hospital.

    Having said all of that, if Jared is dealing with a depressive episode or drug withdrawal, I really hope that he gets help from people who know what the fuck they’re doing. I hope that his friends realize that he needs to be in a place where he can take care of himself. Since Jared hasn’t been active on Twitter or FB for little, I’m having a really nice fantasy in which he’s in an excellent facility where he has a really amazing care team and is finding the right medication combo and is getting awesome therapy (including therapy dogs and hippotherapy) and Gen and the babies get to visit him on the weekends. Then, when he gets out of the amazing facility he tells everyone, “Hey, I was hospitalized for depression and I had such a transformative experience that I’m going to establish a scholarship fund for people who can’t afford to get this transformtive experience at this amazing hospital!” A girl can hope, right?

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    1. Ha. I think I was more kind of like, ‘yeah, I thought as much’ when I heard he had suffered with depression. He seems very ‘on’ at times and that’s never a good sign.

      I’m very glad that you realised that you had a problem and sought help. It’s always inspiring to hear about people staying strong enough to get themselves from a bad situation to a better one. Depression is something that I don’t think anyone would wish on another person. It’s funny how your own brain can work against you sometimes.

      You make some good points about Jared listening to his friends over the doctor but I’d cut him some slack there. I doubt they would shut down production for five days for any reason other than some kind of physical medical injury, and back then both of the guys were basically ever-present on the show so I don’t know how realistic shutting down everything would be. That being said, I’m sure he could have gotten more than an afternoon off!

      My question over that is, while the set doctor is trained and all did he not ever go to an actual therapist who’s specialized in that area, and if so…why not mention that? Would that not make more sense? And he’s spoken of breaking down before during season 5, I think and there was no mention of this then. Of course he’s not obligated to tell anyone anything and maybe he was ashamed but it’s interesting.

      There’s also the rumoured drug use that I guess will always stay that way. It does sort of come across as him using parts of the truth that fit his agenda and omitting the parts that might make him look bad….

      Yeah, the adoration from fans as a coping method is fucked up. And it seems crazy that he’s highlighted it as a problem that far back but hasn’t learnt from it. I did post messages for him but on the whole I think not only is it damaging to him, it is extremely irresponsible to say that you want to fight depression and then go on to have a whole campaign revolving around yourself and how much adoration you can get from fans. It doesn’t set a good example for people who are maybe influenced by him but don’t have hundreds of people to tell them how amazing they are.

      I’m glad that he hasn’t been posting as much because Twitter is one of those places that he maybe shouldn’t be on. I had to wean myself off social media when I realised that I was just using it as a tool to ignore all of my problems. And of course there are the endless comparisons and the increased likelihood of saying something stupid just because you feel like shit. I’d much rather he got his shit together and maybe go to a facility like you’ve suggested and maybe then he will be more responsible about wanting to help other people. I’m slightly irked by the the ‘it’s not just people who can’t find a job/can’t fit into society who get depression’ comment given that years later, he had the nerve to say what he did about Philip Seymour Hoffman.

      Anyway, yeah, I hope he is off somewhere getting the appropriate help and talking to the right people, and maybe he will start some kind of fund for the less fortunate to get help. Maybe you can suggest it to him somewhere? 🙂

      Thank you for your comment!

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