Supernatural 10.04 – “Paper Moon” Remix


WARNING: This one will have a bit adult language to it.

1004dean1 You know what’s best in life, Sammy?
1004sam1 To crush women, drive your enemies around, and hear the lamentations of their pets?
1004dean1 No dammit. How many times I gotta tell you?
1004sam1 I don’t know. I am TOOOOOoooo baked to care right now.
1004dean1 Lucky bastard. Thanks to the Mark I can’t get that stoned or drunk.
1004sam1 I thought the Mark just meant you couldn’t die.
1004dean1 Or need to eat. Or sleep. Maybe. I think. I’m TRYING to be too stoned to care.
1004sam1 We should like… totally run experiments on you. What if! What if we hired you out to those drug testing places? The ones that pump you full of experimental stuff.
1004dean1 Why would I do that?
1004sam1 Because they pay lots of money. We need funds, Deeeeeean!
1004dean1 YOU need funds mortal. I ain’t got time to eat or drink.
1004sam1 But I want an xbox in the bunker!
1004dean1 Haven’t I taught you nothing? Playstation is where it’s at.
1004sam1 That’s it! I can’t stand you anymore, Dean. This time we’re THROUGH! *storms off*
1004dean1
–COMMERCIAL BREAK!–
1004dean2 So you saw the same case I did, huh?
1004sam2 Oh hi Dean. Wait… were we broke up or something?
1004dean3 What can I say: you’re an emotional drunk.
1004sam3 Sorry. What does the script say we’re fighting this week?
1004dean3 uhhh…. werewolf.
1004kate1 Hi guys!
flash
1004sam2 GAH!
1004dean2 WHAT THE HELL?
1004kate1 What was that?
1004sam2 I’ve read stories of this in the bunker… a rogue flashback.
1004dean3 Flashback? I thought we had those safely contained at the start of the episode.
1004sam3 One must have gotten out–
flash
1004dean2 Another one!
1004kate1 That looked like Sam in there.
1004sam2 Oh no, I must be infected!
1004dean3 What could be causing these flashbacks?
1004kate1 Well my sister and I are going through something similar to you guys. Maybe we crossed the narrative streams.
1004sam2 Nah. Crossing those streams may be tacky, but it’s not a bad thing. It must be something else…
1004kate1 While we work on this, can you guys help me with my sis?
1004dean3 What about her?
1004kate1 She keeps doing things I tell her not to. Chasing squirrels. Peeing on the rug. Killing people.
1004dean2 Huh, I went through something like that. It was also the 4th episode of a season…
1004sam2 Have you tried hitting her with a rolled up newspaper?
1004dean2 Sam! That’s rude!
1004dean3 Have you tried rubbing her nose in it until she learns?
1004kate3 *gasp* I never knew you guys as racist against werewolves!
1004dean3 Huh? I used to do it to Sam.
1004sam3 It’s how I stopped wetting the bed.
1004kate3
1004dean3 What do you expect when a six year old is asked to raise a toddler?
1004sam2 It’s how we turned out so healthy and well-adjusted.
1004kate1 …Ok, let’s go back to investigating the flashbacks.
1004dean2 I’ve got it!
1004dean3 She’s a speaking female guest star. Who’s come back onto the show. And she hasn’t died yet! It must be upsetting the natural order.
1004sam2 It is rather unprecedented. Even Charlie died once.
1004kate1 What about Jody?
1004dean2 I think she has died but no reaper is brave enough to tell her.
1004kate1 So now you guys are going to kill me?
1004dean2 Don’t be silly.
1004dean3 Sam, fuck her.
1004sam2 What?
1004kate3 WHAT?
1004dean2 Your penis has the highest body count between us. Then with you being a furry and all I figured…
1004sam2 Whoa whoa whoa. I am NOT a furry.
1004dean3 Well you’ve got no problem screwing werewolves.
1004sam3 It was one time!
1004dean3 What about when I was stuck in purgatory because you fell in love with a dog?
1004sam2 I hit a dog and THEN found the love of my life.
1004dean3 With the dog. Like I said – furry.
1004sam2 AMELIA WASN’T THE NAME OF THE DOG!
1004dean3 Well are you totally into this chick?
1004sam2 What? No!
1004kate3 What’s wrong with me?
1004sam3 No, I didn’t mean-
1004sam2 fine you want to fuck right now?
1004kate1 Not if you’ve got a poison penis!
1004dean3 You said your sister was causing trouble. We could have Sam fuck her.
1004kate3 That’s it, you two are sick! I’m out of here. Solve the flashbacks on your own. *walks off*
1004sam2 Should we go after her?
1004dean3 Nah, let Garth handle it. That’s his thing or something.
1004dean2 You know what I’m in the mood for? Nachos! You want some nachos, Sammy?
–MEANWHILE AT THE BUNKER–
1003hannah1 Are you sure?
1003castiel1 Yes. They always have to come back here. So any minute now they’ll be here and we’ll get some precious, precious screentime…
–THE END–

Director’s notes: It’s a werewolf episode! So what else to do but run with dog/pet jokes! Hey don’t judge me. I passed on a lot when we had the werewolf episode last season (to highlight more important flaws in the episode IIRC) and I wasn’t doing these remixes when Dean had a dog day (wasn’t that ALSO the 4th episode last season…) so I had to get it out of my system now. Usually when I do these, I get a few jokes in mind from the episode and then start writing to set them up. Then in the process I’ll get new ideas (or come up with jokes that work better) and by the end of it I’ll realize I’ve left off several lines I had planned on. Example: In this episode I had some references to Dean being threatened (when he couldn’t die) and Sam actually making it through another episode awake.

Maybe the next one will give me a chance to reuse them.

(crossposted @ http://natewinchester.wordpress.com/2014/10/31/10-04-paper-moon-remix/)

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