sam and dean are basically fictional real housewives

This is basically a RH post disguised as a SPN-related post because this blog is all about Supernatural (unfortunately). I love the Real Housewives franchise. It is the best time killer ever, and fucking hilarious to boot. The shows all have producers and stuff so there are segments where you can blatantly see that they’re scripted. So essentially, they’re drama shows.

The best thing is the arguments or ‘rivalries’ that start out of thin air.

On the version I’m watching now (Melbourne, because I wanted to see if the Australian chicks could bring it), the first bit of drama started because…one of the housewives said she didn’t believe a word that the psychic housewife said. Seems like a fair enough thing to say about a psychic, right? Apparently not. She flipped out. They both did. Psychic claimed that she could see the other one’s grandmother, but the other housewife (she’s a God believing, fact yielding barrister, whoo!) was all like, “IT’S A DEMON!” Haha. Then psychic called her a demon, because good comebacks are something she can’t use her psychic ability to find. I bet that’s going to be a big thing for the rest of the show, lol. Yay! And most of the time, it’s exactly like that,  it’s just random shit. Usually one housewife confides in another (on camera, so you know right away that shit’ll be brought up) and then bam-CHINESE WHISPERS-something comes out on the other side and the truth is lost in a blur of acrylic nails, wine glasses and a lack of sobriety.

Oh, and lest I forget the vacation episodes. Gross strippers are sometimes involved (along with one housewife who thinks that strippers will ruin their eyeballs – they are possibly not wrong). Despite all the nice scenery around them these women will STILL find something to argue about, and on the Atlanta show, the Real Househusbands (because the don’t seem to do anything except insert themselves onto to the show) discuss their own shit. You’ve got to love it. Reality TV  was clearly designed to make all of us feel smart. Well. So long as you’re not one of those people who stresses the fact that these shows are fake while posting shit all across the internet about how Housewife X is this and that. Those people are super invested lol.

But yeah, RH drama is kind of like how Dean killed Sam’s (barely) ex-girlfriend (who was a monster), and then they argued for the next fourteen episodes even though a. Sam hadn’t seen her for like 20 years. b. She was a monster. c. Sam hadn’t even seen for 20 fucking years. Or basically how they save each other and then get pissed because blah, blah, blah. It’s just really stupid.

But…Real Housewives at least has wine and parties and other random stuff, like…roller skating in order to “bond”. Or spa-dates that end up with loud screaming matches in the relaxation areas. Ah.

I say we stick Sam and Dean in cocktail dresses, give them some martinis and then get them to argue. It’d be so much more entertaining. Sam can even get some hair extensions to go with the raggy mop on his head, and eat at restaurants where four pieces of lettuce are an acceptable salad. Instead of stalking off bridges that lead straight into the river, Sam could just toss wine in Dean’s face and then key the Impala.

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