snarkvestigation: Is Supernatural is bad for you?


*This is mostly not ~serious~, and yes, I was really hit by Dr Boredom last night when I wrote this*

I was on fandomsecrets the other day and predictably there was one about SPN, but this one wasn’t as dumb as previous ones I’ve read, because I agreed with it. I can’t be bothered to link to it because I’m lazy, but the general gist was that this person thought that being in the SPN fandom was bad for them mentally etc. And as I was reading it, I was just like ‘Yeah, I can relate to that’. I was a complete crazy person at the height of my SPN heydeys. C R A Z Y. I’m lucky in that I was smart enough to use a fake name for the majority of my crazy and I mostly tweeted my crazy (all day, every day, for about two-three years) & they’re all in a Twitter black hole somewhere but anyway, I was a teenager and stupid back then. These days you see grown women descending with fury at anyone who dares to breathe a bad word about Jared or (especially) Jensen, and to a lesser extent, Misha (because there’s that whole crazy fraction of fans that hate Misha for coming between their precious “J2”).

Anyway, so my crazy was mostly limited to making sure that everyone knew how wonderful Jared Padalecki was, and as I’ve found out over the past two years I was wrong about that. That was pretty much all I did, and also some bitching about certain people. And almost everyone I know through SPN went through their crazy phase before we all entered SPN rehab and realised that a. the show wasn’t all that great anymore and b. the fandom was crazy. There are of course some sane members of the fandom who basically pretend that the crazy part are the ‘minority’ and that the fandom is ‘not so bad’. Unfortunately they’re only sane 50% of the time because if you quote “Come for the #SPNFamily, they will take you down!” which (sadly for them) is not normal behaviour. So anyway, it hit me as I was reading it. This craziness must be part of some bigger movement that us mere mortals are unaware of.

#SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily
#SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily
#SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily
#SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily
#SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily
#SPNFamily

#SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily
#SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamilyy
#SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily
#SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily
#SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily#SPNFamily #SPNFamily
#SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily #SPNFamily

If you squint at all those hashtags hard enough you’ll see the message. Keep squinting. Squint some more. I’m sure you see it now. It clearly says DEFEND THE SHOW’S HONOUR OR DIE, because that is how 90%  of the fandom act.

Then I was hit by another thought. (It was a brainwave kind of day for me.)

SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES! Now, I don’t have the time to start perusing my SPN DVD collection, or my illegal download collection (I’m kidding, please don’t sue me. I have no money anyway) to play clips of Sam and Dean running backwards. But if I did, I’m sure that there would be a secret message hidden in the clip, in which a voice that sounds suspiciously like the little boy from ‘Enter Sandman’ would tell me that I must ‘LOVE SAM AND DEAN FOREVER.’.

Guess I didn’t get that memo. Anyway, so that maybe explains the crazy. But I was hit again – the triple whammy – clearly, Jared and Jensen are in on it. How is it that they can  say stuff that’s sexist or homophobic, insult other actors, insult megacroc vs dinoshark, insult species that don’t even exist yet and STILL have people defending their every move. Now, I don’t want to go all “These bitches are part of the Illuminati!!!” on their asses, but….there is always the Padalluminatickles. The ‘tickles’ part is the reason why fandom thinks that something was mundane as a cream pie in the face is h i l a r i o u s, and why they still shit themselves silly at the blatantly staged gag reels. And I think I know how the transition works. IT’S THEIR EYES. You stare at them long enough and you get infected by the craziness. Bonus crazy if you’re staring at a photoshop image where the eye colour has been modified. Triple crazy if you stare at Jared’s nostril flare AND THEN HIS EYES. In this scenario “stare” = watch an episode more than twice.

Quadruple crazy goes to anyone who’s been a fan of Jensen’s eyes since Days Of Our Lives. Sorry, guys.

Quintuple crazy goes to anyone who would buy a bottle of eau du Padackles that is just a mixture of water and their sweat, and sealed with air from their farts simply because their faces and, therefore, their eyes are on the box.

Misha’s involvement was the part I cracked last. His fans got their own special brand of crazy quickly. I once had a conversation with a girl who told me that Misha was an inspiring man, who did this and that and was amazing and awesome and she was talking like she knew him on a deep, personal level and then  she told me that she’d never met him. I mean, that’s alright. I never did that during my crazy days because who has time to pretend that they have a deep, personal connection with Jared Padalecki when they can come up with cute portmanteaus and post an excessive amount of Twitpics of him?  (It wasn’t my finest moment.) But a lot of people say things like that. So this girl could have stopped there and I would have just immediately removed her from memory but then she went on to tell me about how she knew that Misha was amazing because he….consoled a fan whose friend had recently died.

Remembering that made me realise that Misha Collins was more worthy than I was because he ranked higher on the Supernatural Fandom Scale of Greatness. Examples of the scale are below.

Stranger smiles at you in the street: CREEPER ALERT.

Jared/Misha/Jensen look in your general vicinity from about 30 feet away: THEY HAVE OFFICIALLY MADE YOUR YEAR, NAY, YOUR LIFE.

Fan spends thou$ands of dollars on convention and is booed during their question: VERMIN!

Jared/Jensen paid thou$ands of dollars to not answer questions: THEY TAKE TIME OUT OF THEIR BUSY SCHEDULES TO DO THESE CONS, WHY ARE PEOPLE ASKING THEM QUESTIONS!!! JUST SMILE AND NOD AT THEM BECAUSE THEY’RE NINE TIMES THE PEOPLE YOU WILL EVER BE.

Misha’s involvement led to the last Act of Crazynatural: The social media invasion. Now as someone who spent three years tweeting all day, every day (I shit you not, it was all I did), I witnessed this first-hand and I can only imagine how much worse it’s gotten. I think the initial downfall (or upfall of crazy?) started when the fandom attempted to take on P.Diddy and won – in a world where the only people who cared about the battle was the SPN fandom. P.Diddy was no doubt somewhere in a hot tub sipping Cristal and wearing a million dollars around his neck. Fast forward to today and Misha is the middle man in a battle between the fandom and…a bunch of 12-year olds that listen to Justin Bieber as a sport.

THE CYCLE IS COMPLETE.

So, now that I’ve identified the presence of the subliminal messages within the show itself, Jared and Jensen’s cult-like activity and Misha Collins penchant for starting one-sided battles that usually remain one-sided (a bunch of grown ass people vs 12 yr olds is not a battle, it’s fucking ridiculous and does not count), I am ready to make my closing statements*.

SUPERNATURAL IS BAD FOR YOU. Clearly it produces some kind of chemical in your brain that leaks into your hippocampus and just fucks you up entirely. So my advice would be for you to stay away from it entirely. Or watch it from behind your eyes because that’s how Crazynatural operates. FIRST IT TAKES YOUR EYES, THEN YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA LIFE, THEN YOUR ACTUAL SOCIAL LIFE, THEN YOUR ACTUAL LIFE…AND LAST BUT, AT THIS STAGE, PROBABLY THE LEAST, IT TAKES OVER YOUR BRAIN. Sleep with one eye closed, people. Closed.

OR THIS IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU

*But yeah, I really have no idea why the fandom is so fucking crazy. And on a more serious note bullying people because they don’t agree with your opinion is not okay. Attacking others is not okay. Inflating Jared Padalecki’s ego is not okay. And all of the crazy shit that happens is probably not okay either.
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9 comments

  1. Lmao! Before I get into the SPN mess of this the Metallica loving part of me has to note that it’s actually a little boy’s voice in “Enter Sandman”. Feel free to hate my dorky ass for correcting that lol. This gets a bit dark. Beware 🙂
    Confessions of a rehabilitated ex-fangirl~ I was in a very unique circumstance but I definitely believe SPN’s crazyness can be mentally harmful. From early 06 to early 09 (age 14-17) I was obsessed to a point where I should have been put in therapy. Why my situation was unique, I had no friends, was going through hell in highschool, being sexually harassed in school, had been sexually assaulted (in middle school) and the kid was still stalking me and oh yeah then for the better part of 2008 I lived in a fucking shelter. So I wasn’t stable anyway and had next to nothing. Enter Jensen fucking Ackles. I believed I was in love with him because SPN was one of the few things that made me smile. My life revolved around “when can i see him again”. Luckily we couldn’t afford any internet access so I didn’t have the opportunity to make a fool out of myself online during my rabid days of insanity. I was completely oblivious to the fandom. I felt like I’d been brainwashed so even when it was going on I knew it on some level it was wrong. The only way I would allow anything to make me happy is if it had something to do with that fucking show.
    When we found a place to live season 4 was about to start. I was finally in a better environment and away from the issues at my old school so I didn’t “NEED” SPN anymore but I didn’t realize this and didn’t know what to do lol. The show was sucking, I wasn’t denying that so I just kind of latched on for another few months out of some sick sense that “I owed them” because they were “there” when I was depressed and shit. WTF??? I was in a cult all by myself.
    I think there is some sort of subliminal fuckery going on. I’ve been snapped out of it for a long time now but for a while I would worry whenever I become mildly infatuated with another random actor that I’ll end up doing that again. I don’t find either of them attractive anymore. Anytime I flip by SPN I feel disgusted and sad. And I curse my teenage self. The brainwashing must wear off if you aren’t weak minded enough to devote your entire life to J2. The fandom is crazy (i think all fandoms are and I avoid them), and these people need to get a life. Sorry for my dark and rambling post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL. My bad! I knew it was either a little girl or a little boy but I haven’t listened to the song in years. :S

      No need to apologise! Thanks for sharing this with me. All of that is insane! I am extremely glad that you managed to get out of your bad situation and away from SPN hugs. I think it’s interesting how many people got into the show as a way of escapism. The trouble is, while there’s nothing wrong with a little escapism, these people wear theirs like a badge of honour. Escaping away from reality into the SPN fandom is akin to entering a level of personal hell. Your situation is definitely unique, especially in that it was just you, and it is completely understandable given how young you were and what you were going through. And you still managed to claw your way out wayyy before I did! I salute you! ❤

      My craziness is probably less on the 'understandability' scale, lol. Initially, I'd been watching the show for about two/three years before I turned into a crazycake; I got into fandom just before season 3, and it was all nice and calm. Until my parents banned me from watching the show after they found my idiotic fan letter to Jared.

      And there's nothing like your parents banning you from something to make you go nuts over it just to spite them. I started building up my picture collection (before my computer was wiped I had thousands of Jared pictures and like, a hundred of Jensen and many more SPN pics, it was disturbing) and I would watch the show at the library, write really long reviews and emails and it took over my life. And like you, I hated (well, I didn't think it was a good as people seemed to think it was) season 4 and I would pretend to like it so that people would still talk to me. By the time Jared and Jensen got married I was on the Crazy Train, next to the driver. Like you, I felt like I owed it to Jared and Jensen to watch the show and desperately post and repost every picture of them available on the internet etc. .

      My wake-up call came around the time that I realised that Supernatural was really going to get a sixth season. I was like, 'I can't pretend to like this shit anymore' and I realised how fucking crazy the fandom was at that point. People really showed themselves when I wasn't all "Supernatural is great!!!!11111" and I foolishly stuck around for two years of that before I bounced. Kind of. I am only just getting over my Jared crazy because I didn't keep my eyes closed!! Before his latest Twitter debacle I was still pretending that maybe he isn't a complete dick but now every time I see his face I feel ragey. That might be a direct reaction to the current state of his face though… 😛 Now that I think about it I don't know what I saw in him. At all. I could have spent all of those years designing a brand new invention and becoming a billionaire or something. Haha. I am extremely ashamed of my behaviour.

      I agree that all fandoms are crazy. I tried my hand at The Mentalist fandom and maaaan, their enthusiasm is great but so utterly ridiculous that I was over it within two months. Very annoying.

      I think my post manages to be longer than yours even though it's about me and my ridiculous ways. I worry about that with other actors too. Over summer I was WAYYYY into Tom Hardy. It was really ridiculous. I got myself out of that very quickly but I still enjoy the time I spent fangirling over him so I think it is all about knowing your limits. Of course…some people don't have limits…anyway, I'll shut up now because I've just written you an entire essay haha.

      Like

      1. I like having a place where we can trade SPN horror stories free from judgement 🙂 I’ve never had a place to vent about it before it’s fun lol. It almost sounded like I was blaming SPN for my shitty situation. I blame it for being a negative influence and for whatever possible subliminal bullshit they used to brainfuck viewers.
        The thing about you having thousands of pictures of Jared on your computer makes me feel much less creepy about the email I sent myself last week with a few pictures of my latest infatuation. He shall remain nameless here but I’d tell you via email if you want lol.
        I get really into TV shows but I have other interests. These fandoms only care about their show(s), they always seem to be creepy and they have lost touch with reality.
        I suppose I dabbled in The Mentalist fandom briefly. I would read crazy Red John conspiracy theories for fun but that was it. I avoid coming into any online contact with anything involving shows I watch. There are some crazy people who would piss me off one way or another. Fangirls shall not taint any of my shows, no matter how dumb the show may be.
        It could have been worse, at least we weren’t on crack or worshipping Justin Beiber. There is a strange level of shame that stays with you, it gets easier in time. There’s a fine line between harmless fun and delusional obsession. I’ve learned how to keep things harmlessly fun 🙂

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        1. Haha! Vent away 😛 Lol there’s no one to call us bad fans for not realising that Supernatural changes lives, thank God! (And if they tried, I would send them on their way with a very pleasant comment.)

          It didn’t sound like that at all, so don’t worry. Yes to the negative influence. I think the subliminal thing is a result of the growing popularity of the internet and platforms which allowed fans to communicate with the creators and writers, because everything really went to shit when writers started with the wincest in-jokes and everything else. Lack of fourth wall = abundance of craziness.

          Oh my god the pictures. I had them all on a USB stick that I carried around with me, and looked through. It was very sad. I will ask you about your latest infatuation when I reply your email :]

          Fandoms are creepy. There’s no law against liking a TV show a lot, but what I’ve found with fandoms is that the only way to participate is to be really into it and devote almost all of your time to it. My time is too precious for that, lol. I don’t want to be on Tumblr 24/7 or cry because I missed my ‘fave’s’ Q&A on Twitter or his/her latest tweet.

          I used to read RJ theories, some people had some good ones that Bruno Heller should have used. I’m still pissed over the RJ thing lol and I’ve rage quit the show. The whole FBI thing was just boring. I guess I’ll go back to at the end of the season. That’s true, there’s always something ot someone who will piss you off. I remember late last year I got really into Sleepy Hollow and I was checking out the fandom and like, out of nowhere one of the leads live-tweeted Supernatural and started this whole SuperSleepy thing and it just put me off the show to the point where I stopped watching. I still love the show, but yes, fandom can really taint things. You have the right idea! :]

          LOL. Those poor Beliebers…how embarrassed are they going to be when they hit puberty! True that. Right now I don’t have the time or energy to be really into anything, though I’m sure I’ll reach a point where something grabs me and I get crazy over it, but it won’t last seven years. I’ll make sure of that hahaha. Everything in moderation and all that jazz 😛

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  2. Season 12 ended so horribly that I was finally going to give up. (I mean, Dean lecturing GOD on relationships!) Really? Then spoilers announced that Rick Springfield will be the new Lucifer. How can I resist watching such a trainwreck? It’s inhuman!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I dunno, Rick Springfield as an aging teen idol Lucifer? It doesn’t get better than this! He was the Joey Fatone of my generation.

    Like

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