Uh, I’m probably going to mention the hair but let’s pretend that I’m still being nice about Jared Padalecki
Flashback is an interjected scene that takes the narrative back in time from the current point the story has reached. Flashbacks are often used to recount events that happened before the story’s primary sequence of events or to fill in crucial back story
Which okay, so Supernatural is showing us a bunch of flashbacks showing us what happened during the one year. But so far all we’ve covered is Dean went to purgatory and Sam fell in love.
IN SIX EPISODES WITH A COMBINED 9203033 FLASHBACKS, THAT’S ALL WE KNOW. Oy.
THEY HAVEN’T BEEN RECOUNTING ANY SIGNIFICANT EVENTS, JUST POOR CHOREOGRAPHED FIGHT SCENES AND LOTS OF FUCKING MEANINGLESS CONVERSATION.
Episode Title: Southern Comfort
What It Should Have Been Called: REHASHVILLE
The episode starts off with some woman (who looks like the crazy mom from Croaton) running her husband over as he works on the car.
BLOOD SPLATTER!! AGAIN.
Dean’s found a job, Sam’s surprised. Apparently Dean hasn’t spoken to Sam since Benny-gate. They argue about Dean being friends with a vampire, Sam wonders how it’s different from Amy that….monster-friend that Sam was with 2299220 years ago or something. The one that Dean killed. Boo-fucking-hoo, Sam. Anyway they eventually hit the road.
At the crime scene, there’s a Texas Ranger on scene. It’s GARTH!!!!!
HE’S THE NEW BOBBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And oh, he’s still a hugger. He’s still fucking annoying. He’s still a waste of screen time.
The case this week is all about some sort of spectre/ghost being connected to an object that somehow moves around. Eventually they find out that the spectre makes its victim kill someone who they’ve held a grudge with. YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS DON’T YOU?!!!!!!
ONE OF THE BROTHERS ARE GOING TO END UP TOUCHING THE OBJECT1!!! But not before a door slamming shut sends Sam spiralling into flashback. Which I was begging for between all the SAM-AND-DEAN-STARE-AT-GARTH-WITH-CONSTIPATED-LOOKS-ON-THEIR-FACES and general Garth scenes. I WAS BEGGING FOR THEM.
There are clothes all over the floor. SEX, PEOPLE. Sam and Amelia are in bed. She starts rambling about her dead husband and….I skipped the scene. There’s only so much of this bullshit that I can take.
I learnt my lesson, I WON’T BEG FOR THEM AGAIN. NEVER. EVER.
The son of the couple at the beginning kills some dude in some store. Sam, Dean and Garth investigate. Dean’s pissed that Garth is now Bobby 3.0. Sam’s….probably looking around for objects that will send him spiralling back into flashbacks.
Someone else dies. Garth offers to be Dean’s agony aunt. And then he offers to be Sam’s agony aunt.
After that a car, or bone, or truck or a street or something sends Sam spiralling back into flashback. AGAIN.
Sam wakes up. Amelia is a bitch to him, says that she doesn’t want Sam feeling sorry for her and then she leaves.
Relevancy of this flashback: ZERO
Dean and Garth are reading through one of Bobby’s books in order to solve the case. LOL. So basically…all they’ve done is pretend to be the FBI, dig up some grave, step in some ectoplasm, eat and in Sam’s case – have ridiculous flashbacks.
GR8. SEASON GR8.
Dean goes after the cop that the spectre’s in and gets beaten up by the dude. He tries to reason with him and finds out what the object that the spectre is connected to is. Meanwhile Garth and Sam have come to the same realisation and they call Dean!
IT’S A COIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They get back to the motel room and Dean’s there with green ectoplasm leaking out of his hair. UH-OH. He points his gun at Sam and growls, “YOU SHOULD HAVE LOOKED FOR ME WHEN I WAS IN PURGATORY.”
Honest to god, there’s one way to resolve this shit. Sam looked for a month, found nothing and gave up. He was ashamed to admit that he’d given up so lied about not looking. END OF THE FUCKING STORY. After all, Dean’s probably the first human to have ended up in Purgatory. HOW THE HELL WOULD SAM KNOW THAT HE WAS DOWN THERE. AND THEN WE CAN STOP ALL OF THIS TRUE WUV CRAP AND FORGET THIS WHOLE SAM AND DEAN MUST BE UP IN ARMS AT EACH OTHER AT ALL TIMES CRAP.
Because it’s so damn tedious.
There’s a montage. SPN loves montages. The shitty kind with really awful, obscure angles that make you want to gouge your eyes out. In this case we witness, The Journey Of The Possessed Coin. DUMB KIDS IN THE WOODS got it from a grave, KILLER WIFE from the beginning got it from them, HER SON got it from her. THE COP got it from The son, DEAN got it from the cop.
That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.
Back in present day, Sam starts pleading his case. Dean doesn’t care he just barrels on. Sam gets pissed and he brings up Benny. Dean’s all like, CAS LET ME DOWN (cry more Destiel fans, cry), YOU [SAM] LET ME DOWN (I think wincest fans actually enjoy this kind of thing), BENNY’S BEEN MORE OF A BROTHER THAN YOU’VE EVER BEEN”
OH HELL NAW. At this point, I;m just like, “SHOOT HIM, SHOOT HIM, SHOOT HIM!!!!! SHOOOOT!! AND THEN SHOOT GARTH (what?) AND YOURSELF AND END THE SHOW!!!!!!”
Wishful thinking, right?
Sam gets pissed and attacks Dean despite Garth trying to insist that it’s not really Dean. They fight, blah, blah, blah and naturally, Sam ends up on the floor. Enter Garth, who tries to persuade Dean that Sam had his reasons. Eventually, the coin falls out of Dean’s pocket (DAMMMMMMMMMIT, I WANTED HIM TO SHOOT…either Garth or Sam really. I’m not fussy) and Garth picks it up.
It doesn’t effect him because he doesn’t hold any grudges.
Oh fuck off, show.
Garth melts down the coin and Dean decides that Garth isn’t a bad Bobby 3.0 after all.
FUCK YOU DEAN.
Meanwhile, Sam’s washing his face and looking at himself in the mirror. This somehow sends him spiralling back into flashback mode. FUCK YOU TOO SAM.
Sam knocks on Amelia’s door and is all like, I DON’T FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. BUT LIKE, MY BROTHER – DEAN – DIED, AND MY WORLD IMPLODED AND I’M SO LOST AND BLAH BLAH. Amelia’s all like, “WELL NOW I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU.”
I skipped the rest because I can’t handle anymore stupidity.
Dean’s all like, “I didn’t mean any of what I said.” But Sam’s not having it and he’s all like, I DIDN’T JUST NOT LOOK BECAUSE OF A GIRL. HER NAME’S AMELIA RICHARDSON AND WE HAD A PLACE IN TEXAS.” Because Dean cares or something. I know I don’t. DEAN HAD BENNY, SAM HAD AMELIA AND DEAN SHOULD MOVE ON OR SAM WILL.
Dean says “Okay” or something and Sam starts to walk towards his side of the car. Or somewhere. BUT HE’S NOT DONE YET, he’s all like, “I MIGHT JUST BE THE HUNTER THAT RUNS INTO BENNY ONE OF THESE DAYS AND KILLS HIM”
….so it’s Sam’s turn to be an asshole this week.
Dean’s mostly nonplussed and he growls, “WE’LL CROSS THAT BRIDGE WHEN WE COME TO IT.”
And because Sam has lines this week he’s all like, “YEAH YOU KEEP SAYING THAT.”
Thoughts: WHEN IS HIATUS? I CAN’T WAIT. This episode was boring, we had rehashes of entire conversations that Sam and Dean have had in previous seasons. Garth was annoying, but less annoying when I ignored his scenes. The flashbacks were pointless, random, counter-productive. Sam and Dean seemed to have flipped roles, Sam’s pissed about Benny even after Ruby and everything and just….
….this show is actually so horrible that I can’t even be bothered to watch the entire episodes anymore. Bad writing, bad pacing, bad characterisations, bad EVERYTHING.
On another note, WHO IS DOING THE MAKE UP FOR JARED AND JENSEN?!
LOL, top half of Sam’s forehead is brown, his cheeks are brown, just what is going on. Dean’s make up is just as bad and just, it’s fucking distracting when out of nowhere Sam and Dean are browner than the rest of the fucking cast, lol. Unless Sam and Dean go to St Tropez between hunts they shouldn’t look like they’ve been lying under faulty sun beds each episode.
Next point: IT JUST LOOKS LIKE DEAN’S HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH SAM’S HAIR.
Grade: A for Awful.
NEXT WEEK: KEVIN IS BACK, CASTIEL IS BACK!!!! Ugh. I can wait.