snarkview: 8×05, who cares about benny and his appalling dress sense.


I feel kinda mean about mocking Jared last week. So this week I won’t comment on the hair or his uneven skin tones.

I couldn’t resist.

Before the episode I took the liberty of compiling a comparison table of the first 4-5 episodes of seasons 6-8. I shouldn’t have bothered because all  I ended up doing was remembering shitty episodes that I’d like to forget forever.

CLICK ON IT TO SEE IT PROPERLY. WORDPRESS WON’T LET ME MAKE IT BIGGER

Anyway.

QUESTIONS: WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO HAVE AN EPISODE ABOUT A CHARACTER THAT WE SAW (OUTSIDE SHITTY FLASHBACKS) 4 EPISODES AGO? ONE THAT WAS INTRODUCED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE SAME EPISODE? WHERE IS THE FUCKING LOGIC? UGH. ALSO WHY IS BENNY CALLED BENNY? LISA’S SON WAS CALLED BEN. AND WHY IS AMELIA CALLED AMELIA? JIMMY NOVAK’S WIFE WAS CALLED AMELIA.

WE’VE REACHED THE POINT WHERE SUPERNATURAL IS NOT ONLY RECYCLING PLOTS. IT’S RECYCLING NAMES. BRAVO CARVER, BRAV-FUCKING-O.

What The Episode Was Called: Blood Brothers

What It Should Have Been Called: Random Episode About Random Growly Vampire Guy Complete With 92020030303 Flashbacks

I don’t even know what to say. I just don’t. I paid attention for all of….five minutes during this episode and that was mostly during the Sam “scenes”. WHAT THE EVER LOVING HELL WAS THAT. I read some comments beforehand and everyone was like BEST EPISODE OF SUPERNATURAL EVER!!!!!!!!

What.

No seriously, WHAT?

Of course every episode is the BEST EPISODE EVER so I’ll continue to ignore those morons.

~x~

So the episode starts with Benny (still in his weird outfit) meeting up with some guy. They growl at each other. A fight breaks out.

credit: fiercelynormal

I’m starting to hate it.

Dean and Sam burst into a motel and Dean’s all pissed that Sam hasn’t been able to track Kevin down, Sam’s pissed that Kevin’s still managing to evade them. LOL YOU ALMOST GOT HIS MOTHER KILLED, WHY ARE YOU SURPRISED. Anyway, Benny calls Dean and growls something about needing his help. Dean tells Sam that he has to go and Sam’s all WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GREAT WINCHESTER HUNT TO CLOSE THE GATES OF HELL.

It’s irrelevant Sam. I say this because no one’s mentioned it for about three episodes. You haven’t even killed any demons or anything. At this point Sam, you’re the only one who cares and you don’t even care at all.

There are some flashbacks with Dean, Benny and Cas in purgatory. All 300303 are ridiculous so I won’t mention them again. LEVIATHAN! DEAN AND BENNY HATE EACH OTHER!! LOVE TRIANGLE!! DENNY VS DESTIEL! I don’t know what else to say really. They all work together to kill some stuff. Benny saves Castiel from a Leviathan. That’s it. I mean, we only really maybe needed the one five minute flashback but instead we got 282992 of them. It wasn’t confusing at all, I mean, look at my perfectly accurate description of them.

Dean goes. He finds Benny covered in blood at the docks, somewhere or something and gives him BLOOD!!! YAY!!! Suddenly Benny is refreshed and the blood on his clothes magically vanishes. Him and Dean talk about something, I don’t know or care what it was. At some point Dean’s like, “So you were like vampire pirates? VAMPIRATES”

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA  HA

OH DEAN YOU’RE SO FUNNY.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA  HA

Back to Sam who’s stalking Kevin online. He then moves onto to stalking Amelia online BUT IT’S NOT STALKING, HE’S CHECKING UP ON HER. WHY DON’T YOU CALL HER SAM. OR SEND HER AN EMAIL LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY WUV EACH OTHER. IF YOU WUV HER SO MUCH WHY HAVEN’T YOU CALLED SAM, HUH? HUH? And then somehow an ice container or something sends him spiralling into a flashback.

F L A S H B A C K

He’s in the motel reception I think, and the guy there is bitching about how the aircon doesn’t work or something. Sam’s all like, DO YOU HAVE TOOLS, I CAN FIX IT. He goes around fixing shit. The guy is all like OMG FIX SOME MORE STUFF! And at one point, he’s fixing Amelia’s sink. VET LADY IS LIVING IN A MOTEL. SAY WHAT. Oh that’s right, Jared Padalecki said in an interview that Amelia was a lost soul like Sam.

LOST SOUL = LIVING IN A MOTEL EVEN THOUGH YOU PROBABLY EARN ENOUGH TO RENT AN APARTMENT.

IN LOVE AND COMPLETE = LIVING IN A HOUSE WITH SAM.

Got it.

Anyway, she’s unimpressed with Sam fixing her sink. OMG YOU CREEPER, she yells, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE WITH YOUR DRIFTER CLOTHES AND CREEPY SIDEBURNS (oh snap)”. Sam points out that he’s fixing her sink. She’s unimpressed. Sam takes this as a cue to touch her fruit. FRUIT GUYS!!!!!!! MUST BE FROM THE FARMER’S MARKET. It would help if the actress was half decent but she just sounds ridiculous. Anyway she’s all like, DON’T TOUCH THE PRODUCE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE LEAVING TOWN!!!! Sam’s just like, CALM YOUR TITS WOMAN. Or well the Sam version of that. So basically, WHY WHAT WHEN WHO.

E-N-D F L A S H  B A C K

Meanwhile Dean and Benny are…I don’t know, going after someone that Benny knows. There’s lot of shots and scenes of them walking places and talking about…stuff and honestly, I don’t give a shit about Benny and his drama. I’ve actually been more entertained by Sam sitting around doing nothing at all. But anyway Benny ends up at some house and there’s some girl and OMG HE’S TOTES IN LOVE WITH HER!!!!!!!111 Which is nice and all. But then he gets beaten up by his old vampirate chums I guess. Dean hides behind a wall and whisper-growls “Idiot” or something.

WHO IS SHE? WHERE DID SHE EVEN COME FROM?

Back to Sam. And he’s still sitting in some motel room messing around on his computer or something. Dean calls at some point and he’s whispering. Sam asks why he’s whispering.

WHY, WHAT, WHEN, WHO.

I’m not sure what is said but Dean disappears to kill some vampires. Sam hangs up in outrage!

F L A S H B A C K

Sam’s running after his dog as he yells, “DOG! DOG!” because naming your dog “Dog” isn’t stupid. Dog runs straight into Amelia’s motel room because that’s how true wuv works. She’s bitchy as per usual. Somehow Sam sees that she’s a LOST SOUL. She says that she used to have someone but she doesn’t blah, blah. TWO LOST SOULS TOGETHER. I can’t wait for the flashback with the sex scene in it. I’m just going to sit here and laugh my head off.

E-N-D F L A S H  B A C K

Sam’s driving somewhere angrily and increases his speed. He eventually meets up with Dean and Benny. Oh Dean and Benny somehow managed to kill all of the vampirates…somehow. I JUST WASN’T INTERESTED IN ANY OF THEIR SCENES. THEY ARE BORING TOGETHER.

B O R I N G

I WOULD LITERALLY RATHER LISTEN TO SAM BLEATING ABOUT HIS NORMAL LIFE THAN WATCH DEAN AND BENNY HAVING SOME SORT OF VAMPIRATE ADVENTURE!

Anyway, Sam’s waiting for Dean at the docks when he and Benny sail back. He’s pissed off for some reason. I don’t know why. But then he and Benny meet and Sam’s tingly, spidey sense lets him know that BENNY IS NOT HUMAN!!!!!!!!

OH HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NAW. DEAN YOU’VE GOT SOME SPLAININ’ TO DO!!!! YOU ARE IN THE DOGHOUSE NOW….BROTHER.

Benny is all *smirksmirk* “I’ll leave the two of you to discuss shit. BYE!” whereas Dean just stands there with a sort of UH-OH look on his face.

SAM GETS ANGRIER!!!

THE END!

Thoughts: Blah, you know there’s something wrong when I’m more entertained by Sam’s BRIGHT, SUMMERY FLASHBACKS than I am over the stupid plot of the week. I had no idea that Supernatural was becoming the Ty Olsson Show for a week. THE SAME TY OLSSON WHO WAS MILES BETTER ON ARROW. Anyway.

GRADE: D for Didn’t Pay Attention For More Than Five Minutes

NEXT WEEK: GARTH! RETURNS! And I’m obviously going to end up punching myself in the face.

SPOILER ALERT: FELICIA DAY IS COMING BACK!!!!!!!!!

Fuck everything. That was the scariest thing about my Halloween. I hope her character is maimed by something with claws.

UNTIL NEXT WEEK BITCHES. WE CAN DO THIS

Thank you to everyone who’s left a comment and everyone who’s been reading! It’s nice to know that I’m not alone. 😉

-SS

ETA: I’M NOT ACTUALLY GOING TO PUNCH MYSELF IN THE FACE. GUYS, COME ON. I STILL RETAIN SOME RATIONALISM. SUPERNATURAL IS NOT KILLING ME. BUT THANK YOU FOR YOUR (MISGUIDED) CONCERN. 

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12 comments

  1. i seriously shouldn’t come here! if you hate every second of the show why bothering watch the show???? dont do it , you’re literally killing your self

    Like

  2. This show has sucked since season 5.the cw should of ended it at season 5 like eric kripke orginally planned on doing not kept it going.the scary thing is the guy carver plans on taking it to 10 seasons! enough is enough end the damn show.good blog btw.i will be visitng it every day

    Like

    1. Lol, I agree really. After season 5 it went downhill so rapidly that it was hard to watch. I’ve heard about Carver’s three year plan and I seriously hope that someone puts a stop to it! Enough is enough now, y’know?

      Thanks! 🙂

      Like

      1. I can’t even watch a full epsiode anymore,Its just very boring to watch and most of the storylines are stupid and pointless like this past week bringing back the idiot Garth like who gives a s#$% about Garth!.The main storyline is done they defeated the devil.its over! Supernatural was never meant to be a show that would air for 10 years.Hell kripke was originally planning on having it run for only 3 years.I seriously hope that someone ends it as well but i doubt it as the ratings have gone up this season thanks mostly to the new show Arrow which is actually so far been a good show to watch.I think the only ones that still watch supernatural are diehard fans

        Like

  3. Yeah. 21 minutes in. So boring.
    I’m closing it now and not going to even bother watching the rest of it. I think I’ll study instead.
    Yeah. Study. Instead.
    That’s sad.

    Like

  4. Just. WHY. WHY SUPERNATURAL. Why does Sam get a flashback from everything? Sam looks at a fan, he gets a flashback, Sam looks at a fridge, it sends him spiraling into a whirlpool of incandescent memory.

    Why is Amelia even in the plot at all.

    😦

    Why am I still watching this show?

    Like

    1. Sam looks at a fan, he gets a flashback, Sam looks at a fridge, it sends him spiraling into a whirlpool of incandescent memory. LOL. That made me laugh out loud. Might have to borrow that line. 😛

      But yeah it’s hilarious really. The more we see, the more irrelevant the storyline (if you can call it that) becomes and the more awful Amelia seems. She shouldn’t be shown at all, especially if she’s not even in present day.

      Why am I still watching this show?

      Haha, I ask myself the same thing every week.

      Like

  5. I just found this because I googled “season 8 supernatural sucks”. I’m sure you can guess why I googled that.
    Seriously, with all of the amazing things that they have done with this show, how are we THIS FAR IN and we still have no direction whatsoever. We are still doing flashbacks, they still don’t fucking matter. I don’t give a shit about anything they are doing and I don’t really like any of the characters…including what they are doing with Sam and Dean…right now. It’s annoying!! ARGH!

    Like

    1. PREACH IT!!
      I agree with all that you’ve said. Unfortunately someone (somewhere) seems to like how this season (isn’t) progressing, so what can we do? I would care more about what they were doing to Sam and Dean if those two were actually “in character” but they’re not, so I’m pretty meh about it. I’m counting down the days until hiatus, lol.

      Like

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