snarkview: 7×14, the one with the fucktarded title.


This episode is called whatever, I can’t be fucked to type it all out now. But it was about people’s fears coming to life or whatever.

Some brief points before I attempt to actually remember what even happened

  • SAM’S SIDEBURNS. They are still scary. This is sad. Apparently there was a no sideburns sign. *blink* and oh look here it is: 
  • Sam was in dire need of a haircut.
  • They scrapped the angsty end scene conversation and replaced it with forced laughter and “fun” (awful) conversation.
  • People seem to LOVE this episode. I’ve noticed this with the SPN fandom, all of the “humourous” episodes are LOVED by the masses even though they’re not funny in the slightest. IDGI BITCHES.
  • Sam getting attacked by clowns and be so *whimper* SCARED of them. Really? Really show? He’s been addicted to demon blood, been in hell, been soulless and he’s still scared of clowns? What-the-fuck-ever. Also, blah, blah if people are saying that they’re 52 and still scared of clowns. Stop comparing yourself to a fictional character lol.
  • There’s an annoying digital clock that goes back by a day or something and boy, this is annoying. THIS IS NOT 24. What does the time actually matter to us? It doesn’t!
  • The awful title card erupts onto the screen via a burst of skittles or something. IDEK.

The Deaths

  • One guy is killed by an octopus
  • One guy is killed by a unicorn which then gallops away while shooting rainbows (FAKE LOOKING, BAD CGI RAINBOWS) out of it’s ass. *bitchface/eye roll/ repeat*
  • Some dude who seriously came across as if he was asking Sam out (but in a creepy way, haha) is killed by a shark. ZZZZZZ.

Other shit I happened to notice

  • The guy in the lion costume was called Clif. DNW.
  • Sam’s bad cop routine was a little amusing I suppose, and Dean bonding with kids. Awwww(!) While stealing a bunch of tickets so he could get a freaking slinky. Though I think they forgot about the tickets. And really, no one picked up on the old dude hanging around at a joint for kids even though he had no kid of his own. I’m sure they were all blinded by his hotness or something.
  • It was bloody obvious who the killer was if you ask me but of course Sam and Dean don’t have my awesome skills and the episode doesn’t end after twenty minutes like it should.
  • Some kid draws a robot and AND AND AND I WAS SERIOUSLY EXCITED AT THE THOUGHT OF THERE BEING ROBOTS BECAUSE ROBOTS! But then…Dean rips the fucking picture. That asshole!
  • And, the bad guy is all…man idk what that dude was wittering on about. Nothing that made much sense to me. But then somehow his brother appears (his brother who’d drowned when they were younger) and apparently the bad guys fear is drowning? Because just like in Red Sky At Morning he starts to choke up water. Seriously, it’s bad enough that it was a shit episode but really, reminding us all of one of the worst episodes of the show? Nice work folks!
  • While that is happening, Sam is pulling faces and attacking two clowns who are attacking him. It’s not even half as interesting as it sounds.
  • Eventually as the bad guy D-D-D-DIES! RAZZLE DAZZLE! The Clowns erupt into a mass of GLITTER! Hurray!

The End Scene (or as I call it, the inevitable further disappointment after 39 minutes of general disappointment)

  • Sam and Dean meet up at whatever piece of junk they’re driving this week and Dean’s all TROLOLOLOLOLOLOL when he sees that Sam is covered in glitter. Cue lots of AWKWARD and FORCED laughter from Mr Jensen Ackles (whom I love). But then it goes on…and on. And this is the point where I start rolling my eyes and screaming END ALREADY! Sam then gives Dean a slinky that he took and Dean hands him a stuffed clown which Sam leaves lying in the road
  • Cue a zoomed shot of the fucking thing along with creepy, manical clown laughter. YAWN.

What I thought

  • Supernatural hasn’t had a decent ‘funny’ episode in a very long time, this was no exception. It was slow and confusing in parts. The actually story was bogged down by the attempts at humour and the climax was flat.
  • The dick jokes. SO FUCKING ANNOYING. I don’t know who would even find so many of them amusing. Oh wait. Moos! The ballwasher scene made me want to stab myself in the eyes repeatedly.
  • ANOTHER UNECESSARY FILLER. But I don’t even care about the BORING Leviathans. The only thing that would save this show for me is a full on ROBOT INVASION and rebranding of the show, it will be called TERMINATURALATOR instead!
SOMEBODY MAKE THIS HAPPEN!
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