The Five Worst Episodes of Supernatural in 2011 – #4


Mannequin 3: The Reckoning (or the worst piece of shit you’ll ever see)

Reasons why it sucked:

– the title alone is enough for anyone to decide that this episode will be as ridiculous as it sounds. In fact I’m pretty sure that my brain has attempted to block it out repeatedly.

– the most ridiculous thing about this episode is Ben. He pulls some stupid pg-13 stunt to get dean to just DROP EVERYTHING AND LEAVE HIS BROTHER WHO IS HAVING HELL SEIZURES ON HIS OWN. (note: due to the future lack of continuity everything in caps is redundant).
But yes, Dean who…anyway, Dean goes and allows Ben to get all moral with him for a while before he finally realises that being reduced to a whiny, pathetic shadow of his former badass self doesn’t mean he needs to be lectured by a ten year old boy. the same ten year old boy that he SHOVED. Maybe Ben was tired of his mother’s seemingly endless flow of cash and boyfriends. Who gives a shit. But… It didn’t end there. No. It got worse. THERE WAS A MONTAGE.

– the montage was awful. I’ve never been so horrified in my life. I mean, it was fake, cheesy clips showing how HAPPY Ben, dean and Lisa were. Complete with cheesed up stupid instrumental nonsense playing over it. It was like a fucking soap opera or something. I was expecting Dean to start thinking out loud. “WHY ARE THEY MAKING ME LIVE THROUGH THIS HORROR?!” or something.

-And SPOILER ALERT these characters make one more appearance after this in which instead of having another shitty montage playing in his head, Dean threatens to break Sam’s nose. Sigh.

– oh, yeah at the beginning Sam is having a hell seizure. I suggest you make some tea and ignore it as they don’t revisit the storyline until the. last. fucking. episode.

– This episode is about dolls and mannequins and inanimate objects being possessed by the dead spirit of some girl who was killed by a bunch if idiots who were sad pathetic people. In other words: nothing of importance takes place. Playing Justin Bieber repeatedly would probably be a better waste of time.

– one of the characters is having a sexual relationship with said dolls. It then kills him. My only thoughts on this is that someone should keep their kinky habits out of their scripts. It wasn’t funny, it was disturbing.

– the impala gets possessed at some point and I lost more faith in humanity.

– somehow, this dead ghost appears to be A. The only dead person that Sam and Dean have encountered who donated her fucking organs and B. The first onscreen dead spirit who Sam and Dean can’t fucking see.

– leading to the most shameless death scene ever. I mean if your show is about brothers who save people when they’re not saving America from the slowest continental apocalypse ever then WHY. Why would you have them stand there as someone bleeds to fucking death. I DON’T EVEN GIVE A CRAP TBH. AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU.

– oh wait , so we can have Sam or Dean fucking whine about how they can’t save anyone and how EVERYONE IS DYING. For the MILLIONTH TIME. newsflash: this is what happens when you’re being written by sera gamble morons.

– there is some brotherly moment at the end where Sam is all “I’ve got you baaaaabe” to Dean or whatever but in a strictly platonic way of course because it’s not like the wincest fans will lap this shit up and declare that the episode is ‘not that bad’. Well they LIE. It’s up there with the worst episodes of all time.

Now, I’m going back to pretending that it didn’t exist.

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alternatives to this episode: staring at this picture for an hour

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he’s really thinking “FUCK YOU, WRITER OF THIS EPISODE, FUCK YOU.”

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Well, excuse me while I bang my head against concrete to get this scene out of my head.

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The only reason I watched this shit more than once. He has amazing hair. SIGH. I may have a serious problem

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